Weekender

Tomorrow, tomorrow, … yeuch I hate that damn kid! ANYWAY – I’m on holiday tomorrow, and Friday. Heading up to Inverness to try and see some dolphins. Friday I’m hoping to get some time to finish of the redesign (i.e. the WHOLE of Friday if past efforts are anything to go by…). Saturday/Sunday in Edinburgh… wander round IKEA pretending we’re going to buy lots of expensive things, maybe head into Edinburgh city centre and try and catch a few festival ‘things’. Then… damn better phone Sal… OK Sal, 3:04 and you weren’t in. Dropped you an email, will phone again later.

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Good causes

The International Aids Conference kicks off today, and I’m forced to count my blessings. I hate being forced to do anything, but I can always make some exceptions. Now is it only me, or are there too many good causes to support? If (sorry, when) I win the lottery I will give virtually all the money to charity. OK so I know, and you know that I won’t, but I would like to, and surely it’s the thought that counts… right? Hmmm I feel a SomeTHiNG coming on… which also reminds me to re-visit my short pieces and see if I’ve advanced the ideas yet. Coffee time. Later.

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Happy joy

Happy happy joy joy… working at home but not actually minding it as much as I thought I would. M:I2 last night, was OK. It has taken me until now to figure out what irked me about it. It felt constrained, like it was holding back. A time-bomb that never went off. Think the weekend will be good.

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Different

“No, not that one…hmmm that one’s OK…” It has to be different, I have to be different – but do I want to change me? Or others perception of me? Well that’s the easiest question I’ve asked so far! Dreaming of a genie, 3 wishes, teeth that don’t need brushed, weight that stays off, hair that stays on… So why the obsession with different? Is it because I always tried so hard to fit in, without realising I never would? I remember simple pleasures, walking alone. I remember the pressures of walking home from school with others. Enjoying attention, never seeking it, always desiring it. Unsure of my confidence, unwilling to make a fool of myself (THAT’S why I don’t …

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Annoying

It’s annoying sometimes, isn’t it – the way you want to do so much, but seem incapable of doing any of it. I annoy myself constantly, and catch myself frequently promising things I can’t deliver. Regular updates to this site for one! (but hey, I never promised that…did I?) It relates back to plans and promises, and seems an endless circle. Each time I promise anything I get two, sometimes three, steps into it, and stop. I’ll spend less time on the PC – two weeks later I’m back to the usual 1 a.m. stints. I’ll go the gym…tomorrow…I’ll get better organised..well actually that ones not going too badly. The main thing I have to learn, I think, is to …

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Bang II

Another shooting in the U.S. The outrage, the shock, the pain. Swiftly followed by the insight, the analysis, the reason. Apathy? Is that what it is? Or an inherent numbness to the horrors? The same arguments against will be countered with the same arguments for, and in a week or so it will all be forgotten. What will it take? OK, radical idea – why don’t the anti-gun lobbies get together and go around the U.S. and shoot one member of each family in the country. Is that what it would take? I fully admit to suffering from the same “it’ll never happen to me” syndrome, but life here in the U.K. hasn’t yet reached the ‘advanced’ stage that the …

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Bang

The world is shrinking, so my next comments aren’t as misplaced as they seem, is that an excuse? Yet another shooting in America. Yet more calls for tighter controls, or complete bans. More arguments about free speech, and the right to bear arms (bare arms?). “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people“ How stupidly small-minded, frighteningly short-sighted can people be? Is it just me? OK I know it’s not, but don’t these people realise what they are saying? Of course, strictly speaking they are correct, I could have a gun and never use it to kill people – but the counter-argument is so obvious. “It is our right as American citizens“ I will admit to a not complete understanding of …

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Attraction

“You’ll like her, she has amazing eyes” Attraction is not a static, well, not entirely, and it comes in various states: attraction to beauty attraction to personality attraction to lust attraction to like attraction to opposite and many more. Most people single out a few characteristics, for me it’s eyes. There is something bewitching about some people’s eyes, a certain quality that I find difficult to qualify or explain. Of course, there is more to it than that, attraction comes as a package and that package is never definite. Physical attraction, or idolisation, is based wholly on physical attributes. I have never met Helena Christiansen, but she is the most stunning woman I have ever seen. Similarly, Lisa Nicole Carson …

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Need

“Why do you need a website?“ OK, how do you answer that? “Well everyone else has one…” “Oh, and if everyone jumped off the Erskine Bridge, you’d follow them?“ “Because it’s cool…” (which it isn’t, so don’t ever use this answer) “You think so? it just means you can’t get a real life“ And so it goes (which is a wonderful Billy Joel song) basically your only available answer is to say – “You just don’t understand it…” But it does get you thinking, why do I need to do this? The answer to that is simple – I don’t need to. I could stop tomorrow, no really I could… So the question is almost back to the original – …

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