bookmark_borderNot this but that

I had thought of 23 different things to post here by 8.30am this morning. I’ve forgotten each one. Instead I’ll give you a transcript (a small snippet) of a discussion I’ve just had on IM (the names have been changed to protect the innocent – I’ve ALWAYS wanted to say that… hmmmm what ever happened to M.A.R.R.S.??):

Donalda Bint: Am learning to drive, learning the drums and am trying to treach myself turkish
Gordon: tell me, how do you play the drums AND steer at the same time?
turkish drum driving is a sought after skill
LOL
so why Turkish?
whim is a terrible thing
blown by the winds of whim
in the direction of turkey
whim. not only a great word but something everyone should give into from time to time
it is a fine word – especially with a scottish accent, because we pronounce it “whim” whereas here in england they pronounce it “wim”. And that is more German film maker than innermost arbitariness
ahhh but “wim” is apt though, given mr.wenders propensities to the more fanciful artefacts of life
(I wish I knew what I meant there)
true, but I bet he pronounces it “whim”
lol
the “wh” gives in a whimsical and “will o’ the wisp” like feeling
very rare linguistic sound the “wh” apparently
really?
doing any whimming yourself?
see when you say it like that it just sounds dirty
yeah, got told that by a linguistic tutor – because it is basically breathing more than sound
heh heh heh
yes, but wimming sounds worse
depends on your accent…. u wimmin are always up to something…
turkish drum driving for example

We go on to discuss vowel karma and the Scottish approach to it (any one will do), and using colours as a filing system for people (including “drab”, “bowfin’ peach” and “dreary orange”).

Life? Who needs one of those?

bookmark_borderPride

Bit of a dodgy topic this one, so stick with me.

Tonight, whilst watching the football (yes yes I KNOW!) I’ll be… wait for it… supporting Portugal. In as much a way anyone of ‘neutral observer’ can support a team that is.

Now, this is NOT because they are playing England. No. It is because they are the host nation and I think it keeps the excitement going a bit if they win. I’ve said before, and I’ll say again that France are my team, have been since I was 14 (vague memories of Platini, Tigana and Papin…).

Anyway, this leads on nicely to a bit of a bug-bear, and I know I’m not alone in this.

England. No not the country, nor the people.. well not the vast majority of people anyway. Just the select few who don’t know what England is, where it stops and why singing Rule Britannia is wrong (Britannia was composed of England and Wales).

I’ll be honest, it’s amusing that when the football rolls around the commentators take all of two minutes to mention 1966 (for the game against Switzerland they mentioned it before a ball was kicked!). I’ll quite happily concede that if/when Scotland ever win the World Cup we’ll do exactly the same… roll on 2006!

It’s that whole British vs English thing that gets me. Most notably in athletics where past glories, Alan Wells, Liz McColgan etc, were heralded as great achivements for Britain. Heroic failures of the Scottish athletes within the British team were made clear.

It’s an annoyance, and yes I know England are the largest country in the ‘union’ but I do sometimes get fedup with the “we are bigger than you so shut up and stop bothering us” attitude.

P.S. Don’t worry I know YOU lot are OK, it’s just the rest of them that piss me off.

bookmark_borderSt.Patrick's Day

“Eternal is the fact that the human creature born in Ireland and brought up in its air is Irish. I have lived for twenty years in Ireland and for seventy-two in England; but the twenty came first, and in Britain I am still a foreigner and shall die one.”

George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950)

bookmark_borderDitto

Written on Wednesday…

Remember this? (both are internal links, don’t bother clicking them…)

Well it turns out that, some 14 years after Hospital Radio Lennox, I’ll be back on the airwaves. Nationally!!

The BBC Scotland Arts Show is doing a feature on blogging and I’ve already recorded my ‘bit’. Still to find out when it’s to be broadcast but … well.. to be honest, the experience was all a bit weird. Not bad weird, just odd weird.

I was conscious that, normally, I speak to fast and mumble too much, so I was pro – nun – ciating more carefully than normal (bit like when we moved to England…). Add to that the fact that 99% of the population sound different when they are reading something as opposed to when they are being interviewed and I’ve come over all queasy about it. Of course I should’ve prepared a bit better, especially when discussing Scottish Blogs but had a bit of a bomb dropped on me last night (well a hand grenade I guess and I’ve been watching the pin get pulled out for weeks… but it wasn’t anything I could really prepare for…)

However the researcher was very nice and friendly (hi Vivienne!) and I’m sure, once edited, I may even sound like a coherent human being. Well fingers crossed anyway…. I’ll let you all know when it’s scheduled to be broadcast and being the egocentric entity that I am, I’ll be grabbing my copy of Total Recorder to capture the moment for posterior posterity.