The Dark Side of the gym

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“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

It was a chilly Wednesday evening. The clouds overhead muted the world to dull colours and greys.

I can remember driving their on the first night, the churning in the pit of my stomach, I was definitely nervous, I had ‘the fear’. I did my best to push those thoughts to one side but that’s not always easy when you’ve had a LOT of practice in self-sabotage by the What Ifs…

What if everyone else was fitter than me?
What if everyone else could do everything better than me?
What if I was the fattest/slowest/[insert negative trait here]?
What if…

But no. I stepped through the door and an hour later emerged into the evening light feeling tired but elated.

On the Thursday I was aware of the muscles I’d been using as they mildly complained with each movement. I hadn’t felt that for a while (and pretty sure I hadn’t ever felt some of them before at all).

But on Friday that changed. I was in pain. The kind of muscle pain that adds a … pause and a …. breath… prior to every movement. I felt it as soon as I woke and pondered just how the hell you get out of bed when you can’t physically sit up (roll and slide people, roll and slide). As I stood up I ached. As I walked to the bathroom, I ached. As I bent over the sink to brush my teeth, I ached. And that’s before the convoluted joy of getting dressed when you can’t physically lift your feet higher than about an inch off the floor.

This can’t be right, I thought. It shouldn’t be this painful, right?

Was it me? Had I pushed myself too hard? (probably) Or was it them, those dastardly trainers! Why had they inflicted this on me!?! What had I ever done to them? (aside from my usual sarcasm of course). With every sore step I could feel myself getting angry. Angry at the gym, at the stupid weights, at the trainers, at myself for living on a hill. Grrrrrrrrr.

Then a moment of clarity, and I remembered Master Yoda’s sage advice. I would not give in to fear, I would not let my anger build into hate, because hate leads to suffering and sweet mother of doughnuts I did NOT want the suffering to get any worse!!

And you know what, it worked! By the Friday evening I was largely ache free and moving around no longer required the …ohgodthisisgonnahurt… pause that was a large part of my morning. I even got off the bus a few stops early and walked home, just to stretch my legs!

Phew! I thought, that wasn’t so bad after all. I did not give into fear and my suffering diminished! Thank you, Master Yoda, for the wisdom. What a relief not to have that dull ache in my legs, and back, and arms…

Which is just as well, because the next morning, bright and breezy at 9am (ok ok, I was there at 9am, bright and breezy needs three coffees…) I was at it again and I’ve been repeating that pattern over the past 5 weeks.

No, I’m not sure who I am any more either.

Last night we hit the halfway mark of boot camp and I’ve loved every minute of it, even the minutes of agony as you push to do just one more rep of an exercise before the time runs out, even the feeling that there simply isn’t enough air in the world right now no matter how much I gasp and wheeze, even those moments of dread when you are reminded that no you aren’t finished you have one more set to do.

A large amount of credit for this has to go to our trainers, Andy and Juan for providing such a great, welcoming and positive environment, not to mention no small amount of encouragement. I can feel and see the differences already, and I’m looking ahead beyond the end of Boot Camp to see what’s next (another new development for me, I want MORE of this!).

One of the biggest things I’m going to take away from all of this is that the right kind of exercise is more important than just ‘any exercise’. I don’t mean the type of exercises we are doing, I mean finding something that you enjoy, something that makes the ‘go to the gym’ routine an easy part of your week, something that means you don’t mind Friday nights out being limited by a 9am start on Saturday mornings. Finding good people, a good place, and lo and behold you’ll FEEL GOOD about yourself. Rocket science it ain’t, but it’s so fundamental I think a lot of people overlook it.

At the start of Boot Camp we all wrote up our short and long term goals. For me the short (by end of Boot Camp) goal was to do 10 push ups. That’s 10 full, proper form, push ups. I’m not quite sure where I am on that goal – I’m deliberately not trying it until the end of Boot Camp – but it sure feels a lot more achievable now than it did 5 weeks ago when I couldn’t even do one.

April in review

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Lived

Highlights

Stepcount: 285,483.

Read

Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee
I only read one book last month, and this was it. The choice of book club and it was largely uninspiring. There is some good writing, the dialogue is pretty snappy, but I just never felt a connection or interest in the main characters. If To Kill a Mockingbird was your favourite book I’m not sure if I’d recommend this or not. It might ruin it for you, or enrich the world the characters live in. Either way it wasn’t for me.

Watched

Highlight – Beauty and the Beast
I was wary when the remade The Jungle Book (my childhood fav) but given how well it was handled, I was looking forward to, and richly rewarded by, this remake of Beauty and the Beast. Sumptuous, clever, and nice updates on the songs and set pieces, it was at once familiar and new and I loved every second of it! A true musical feast.

Also good

  • Midnight Special – finally caught this, right up my street. Slow burner, subtle direction and acting. Scene by scene some stellar performances. Michael Shannon remains a favourite. Highly recommended.
  • Free Fire – ridiculously wonderful, a riot of set-pieces and violence when a gun deal goes sour.
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 – Liked this a lot. Was fun but possibly a little OTT and trying a little too hard?
  • Iron Fist (Netflix) – YAWN. Could’ve been so much better but again the TV shows from Marvel are SO SO SLOW.

Listened

NOTHING NEW, need to change this!

Weekend Reading

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  • Redshirts Aren’t Likeliest to Die — and Other ‘Star Trek’ Math Lessons
    The original “Star Trek” series isn’t just a milestone of science fiction, it’s also a treasure trove of mathematical ideas — as Space.com discovered when we attended “Star Trek: The Math of Khan” at the Museum of Mathematics.
    Star Trek in FAKE NEWS shocker. Honestly, what IS the world coming to?

  • “Many American adults are wary of pedophiles”: The best internet advice for traveling to the US
    So you want visit the US. You’ve packed your bags, gotten your documents together, maybe paid for a pricey tourist visa, to sprawling land of barbecue and purple mountains.
    A gentle reminder to everyone across the globe that we ALL live in a bubble of some sort.

  • An Open Letter to Those Praising the New York Times “Tomboy” Piece
    Yesterday, the New York Times ran a piece entitled “My Daughter Is Not Transgender. She’s a Tomboy.” I saw the title and wanted to avoid it but then I saw people praising it and celebrating the need to reclaim “girlness” from the over-correction of trans-affirmation. I was troubled.
    I linked to the “Tomboy” piece, so I’m linking to this as well. I think both have valid points, but I’d rather be informed than not.

  • How Online Shopping Makes Suckers of Us All
    Will you pay more for those shoes before 7 p.m.? Would the price tag be different if you lived in the suburbs? Standard prices and simple discounts are giving way to far more exotic strategies, designed to extract every last dollar from the consumer.
    Confirms what I presumed was happening anyway. (tip: Amazon price tracker)

  • Here Are Some of the Best Signs From the March for Science
    Tens of thousands of people gathered in hundreds of rallies around the world on Earth Day in what was described as a “celebration” of science and support for evidence-based policies.
    I do love a smart sign.

  • Video: CNY bowler sets world record by rolling 300 game in 86.9 seconds
    Syracuse, N.Y. — How fast can a bowler roll 12 consecutive strikes and achieve a perfect game? For Ben Ketola, the answer is 86.9 seconds.
    Awesome.

  • For the Love of God, Stop Putting Two Spaces After a Period
    A close friend of mine recently asked me to edit an important professional email. We’ve known each other since we were 8 years old, and in recent years he’s devolved into somewhat of a Patrick Bateman–esque, white-collar psychopath.
    Yes. To this!

  • Long live the grimacing emoji
    Emoji are wonderful way for us to communicate all that might otherwise go unsaid: brewing rage, feeling as busy as a bumblebee, a desire for hamburgers, sexual frustration. But there is one emoji so universally applicable that it stands above the rest: the wide-eyed, grimacing emoji.
    Oddly I use the laughing hysterically with tears emoji way more (because my life is HYSTERICAL y’all!)

  • A Fitbit Helped Police Arrest A Man For His Wife’s Murder
    Richard Dabate was arrested this month and charged with felony murder, tampering with physical evidence, and making false statements following his wife Connie Dabate’s death in 2015, according to the arrest warrant.
    Murderers 0 Internet of Things 1.

  • Where did all the saxophones go?
    A saxophone screams. A saxophone honks. It doesn’t jam or shred or flow. The saxophone isn’t like a piano intro or a guitar solo. In modern music, it can feel, well, outdated. There’s no song in the Top 40 right now with a saxophone solo.
    Clearly they weren’t in Paisley for the Gerry Rafferty tribute last weekend.

  • A New Day Dawning: How “Check Your Head” Invented the Beastie Boys
    Here’s a little story that must be told. When the Beastie Boys released Check Your Head on April 21, 1992, they weren’t sure whether they still had an audience.
    One of my fav bands, with an assured place in music history almost disappeared. Funny how life works.

  • Go Ahead, Have That Fourth Cup of Coffee
    If you’re one of the millions of Americans that downs coffee or other caffeinated beverages to get through the work day, here’s some good news. A new scientific review on the safety of caffeine says drinking up to four cups of coffee, or about 400 milligrams of caffeine, is pretty safe.
    Phew. Ohhh hang on, four ALL DAY? Next up people will suggest de-caff is better… (I can crack through 4 in a MORNING FFS).

  • Resistance
    “If you find yourself criticizing other people, you’re probably doing it out of Resistance. When we see others beginning to live their authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived out our own. Individuals who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others…
    Short quote, big impact.

I want choices and I want them now

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Modern life is consumption. Modern life is the internet. Modern life is choice. Choose everything. Get exactly what you want. When you want. At a cost.

This is where we are as consumers. If I can find something online, and it’s what I want, I can order it and it arrives at my door in a few days. As the type of person who is careful what he spends his money on, and who will research most purchases of any value so knows exactly what he wants, it’s a perfect storm.

To be clear, I do get a little obsessed when it comes to making purchases online. For example, I’ve even researched and bought a specific tin opener (made by OXO), and no I’m not ashamed! I know what I want and in the age of the internet, the age of the smartphone with a billion apps to cater to your every whim, why should I have to settle for less?

Now flip this view on to three different items, two of which are typically they most expensive ‘purchases’ anyone ever makes – buying a home, buying a car, and choosing a TV package.

I won’t comment on buying a house as I’ve not done that for a long time, and very few people are able to buy a house that is exactly as they want it (or Grand Designs would be out of business).

But the other two irk me.

TV packages

I’ve been a customer of Sky, and as I have a NowTV box and subscription I technically am,  but I’m currently with BT. I mostly watch things on the BT Sports channels (or rather I mostly watch things I’ve recorded from the BT Sports channels), and occasionally I delve into the ‘terrestial’ channels 1-5. Outside of that, I’d estimate that once a month I might watch something on, say, a Documentary channel, or Food channel. But, by and large, the actual number of channels I watch is no more than 10.

Number of channels I have in my TV package? About 80.

Given that I watch through a box, surely there is a way for BT to know this? Surely that then could be offered to me, at a cost which I’d happily pay, as a personalised TV package?

So rather than paying £30 a month for 80 odd channels when I only watch 10, charge me £1 per channel plus £5 for the ‘personalised’ package?

In fact, I’d argue that it’s not about the cost, it’s about the user experience. Whilst my logical brain says I wouldn’t pay the same money for fewer channels JUST to have all the extraneous guff hidden from MY tv guide, my emotional brain says HELL YES!! Charge me the same but only show the channels I want!!

And no, ‘Favourites’ is not a solution.

Car packages

I’m currently pondering replacing my car. The term of the lease is up so I have a decision to make – keep it and pay the final lump sum, hand it back, or bump for something ‘new’ (new to me) – and as the car is starting to show signs of expensive bills on the horizon, I’m leaning towards something new(er).

My criteria for a car is simple enough. Have reasonable running costs, have bluetooth so I can play my music choices from my phone, don’t be that horrible pee yellow/green colour that Honda offered me the last time I looked.

That’s about it.

However, if money was no object what I’d really like is to choose my gadgets. Bluetooth, heated seats, keyless entry, remote boot opening, reversing cameras…

As for the rest of the car, sure it needs to look ok, but if it has an engine and goes then that’s the ‘car’ bit sorted.

But no, depending on which manufacturer you look at, the spec levels all differ, some offer ‘packs’ to upgrade that include some things, but not all, and no that pack can’t be installed with that other pack. Why?

WHY!?!?

Everywhere else we have choice. Some say too much choice, which frankly I think is bullshit, but if every other industry can get the hang of this changing world, why can’t these two? When oh when will the customer be put first?

Honestly, WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR ALL THE DAMN TIME!!!

Yours, a spoiled rotten perennial who likes moaning about things of absolutely no importance.

Contemplation

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Contemplation

A post shared by Gordon McLean (@gmclean) on

Crisp morning air snaps at my exposed legs, gravel scrunches under my feet. I start the timer and head off, full of purpose on this bright Sunday morning.

It’s cold in the shade of the trees but I know I will warm soon enough as the dappled light throws long shadows across the pathway. I follow the well trodden route down to the water, following the laughter of squabbling ducks which dash from shore to sanctuary as I pass.

Further along the loch opens up before me and adds a further chill to the passing breeze. In the distance a boat bounces on wave tops as it speeds north. I maintain a more sedate pace. Two legs on land.

A dog appears at a trot ahead of me, approaches, slows, and investigates me briefly from afar, before turning and leading the way forward. It’s a small wiry breed, tiny frantic legs pumping as it heads back from where it came, taking me to the jetty where it stops by its owner. I smile as I pass and continue on as the path starts to rise.

Soon I am climbing the hill, onwards onwards, one foot at a time, breath quickening, stride shortening, sweat forming. Pump those arms, focus a few feet ahead, smile at passerby as your legs ignite, calf muscles spasm, thigh muscles scream.

On it rises, steeper now, but I will not stop. It will not defeat me. I glance up ahead, not long now, I can do this. I am doing this.

And then the slope eases and flattens and I lift my head and look out across a grass covered hill, through spring buds on branches, to the mighty Loch below. The sun dashes through gaps in the clouds, splashes of astonishing colour sway in the breeze. I slowly fill my lungs and my pulse slows from a raging torrent to a syncopated melody.

I wander on, head high, lush green and dazzling blue fill my view.

I find my way to a park bench.

I sit.

I am here.

I am now.

I close my eyes and stay a while.

Weekend Reading

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Busy week + reading things printed on paper = short list today!

Plus it’s Earth Day, so go outside and appreciate this amazing planet of ours!

  • Selling Mark Zuckerberg
    Until recently, Mark Zuckerberg’s most iconic public appearance may have been the image of the young startup founder sweating through his hoodie onstage while journalist Kara Swisher grilled him at a tech conference in 2010.
    Part of me feels a bit sorry for Mr.Z, he has grown up in a strange world (admittedly of his own creation) in the public eye for the large part.

  • Robert Taylor, Innovator Who Shaped Modern Computing, Dies at 85
    Like many inventions, the internet was the work of countless hands. But perhaps no one deserves more credit for that world-changing technological leap than Robert W. Taylor, who died on Thursday at 85 at his home in Woodside, Calif.
    Fair to say you wouldn’t be reading this if it weren’t for him.

  • The Coffee Revolt of 1674: When Women Campaigned to Prohibit “That Newfangled, Abominable, Heathenish Liquor Called COFFEE”
    We denizens of the craft-roasting, wi-fi-connected 21st century know well how to drink voluminous quantities of coffee and argue our opinions.
    From now one I will only be ordering coffee like this! “I’ll have a newfangled, abominable, heathenish flat white please!”

  • The best tweets ever (nominated by Kottke readers)
    Twitter, in principle, could have been invented at any point in the history of the internet. A big networked message board with an upper limit of 140 characters? It sounds like something a resource-conserving developer would have invented before web browsers existed.
    Best ever? Well they are pretty good.

  • Write, Never Marry, and Other Love Advice from Simone de Beauvoir’s Editor
    DA: I think that really it’s the only thing that can be done, so it should be done, and I’m ashamed I didn’t do it. People nowadays are all becoming so money-minded, so materialistic. Greed is very, very powerful. Greed is the worst thing.
    Life advice from a 99 year old is ALWAYS worth hearing.

  • Balenciaga’s $2,145 bag is just like Ikea’s 99 cent tote
    Who wore it better? Balenciaga or IKEA? http://pic.twitter.com/LCB9Qri2xN
    Clearly a post-modern, pseudo-ironic take on the bourgeois acceptance of IKEA. No?

  • MSP Speaks About the Importance of Talking About Depression
    MSP James Dornan has written an amazing piece for us on his experiences of depression, and the difficulty men in Scotland have in speaking about how they are feeling.
    Not necessarliy a ‘scottish’ thing, but worth a read anyway. And if you need help, there is no shame in getting it.

Write way forward

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This year I’ve deliberately kept to a schedule here on this blog. Tuesdays and Thursdays I post something, Saturdays are for the Weekend Reading compilations, so aside from monthly roundups, I’ve gotten into a routine of writing. That was the point, to make myself write more.

Sometimes it’s a bit forced, but sometimes it feels easy. There have a been a few bits of creative writing thrown in and they have (I think) mostly worked, but overall it’s about getting used to writing. I had gotten away from it here, away from writing in my journal, away from any notion of picking up the novel I started as part of NaNoWriMo.

I think it’s starting to pay off though. I’ve kept the schedule here, I’m writing in my journal more often (important for other reasons) and more recently some ideas for my novel have started to percolate. I think the time away from it has helped and I’m hoping that, with an empty weekend (what a novelty!) ahead I can sit down and progress things a little.

That said, there will be large parts which I’ll be rewriting but that’s ok, I’m not actually as bothered by that as I thought I might be. I’m more excited that I’ve a clearer idea of some character motivations and hopefully they’ll push the story in a slightly different direction and help me get towards the end. Oh yeah, I’ve had the start and end figured out for a while, in fact I’ve probably had about 75% of the damn thing thought through until you get to the last quarter before the final chapter. There I seem to stall and can’t quite get a handle on how I get from X to Y before heading to Z.

I’m not sure if the blog schedule has helped, or whether it’s just now that I’m starting to get past last year and the flat move, and starting to look ahead. And in that very spirit I’m not focusing on why, just the act of writing itself.

Who knows, maybe this time next year I’ll be able to say I’ve written a book?

Happily Downsized

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My recent move to a smaller flat was prompted by a few factors but I decided to use it as a chance to downsize and minimise my belongings.

Moving from a large roomed two bedroom flat to a small roomed one bedroom flat made more sense financially, and enforced a level of de-cluttering . That process was, in hindsight, the culmination of the last few years of trying to have less, but it was the push I needed to tackle some of the things I’d been avoiding; it’s easy to put off sorting through your clothes when you have a large double wardrobe for yourself, but not when you’ll only have a small single wardrobe in your new flat!

I’ve been in the new place a few weeks now, and I’ve mostly adjusted to living in the new space. There a couple of niggles but nothing major, and whilst I do have a jam-packed hall cupboard (which will get a sorting out this coming weekend), everything has a place and it’s starting to feel like a home. Next steps are to get some artwork up on the walls, which is prompting some interesting decisions as I don’t have the wall space to hang everything I own, and maybe a couple of new cushions (my new sofa came with two that match it but that’s not really the look I’m going for!).

There is the bonus of having a garage to use as well, which is holding my bike and a couple of boxes (tools and bike stuff), but overall I’ve fitted into the smaller space well.

Perhaps too well! I realised at the weekend that I have an entire small set of drawers that is empty, and a small bookcase which has some token items in it but which I could probably get rid of as well.

Longer term my aim is to replace what I have with better quality items, be they antique or not. I’ve still got a lot of IKEA furniture – two tall, one short bookcase, the TV unit, and two chest of drawers – that I will look to change out at some point, but there is no rush.

The other long term aim is to avoid the temptation to re-clutter! I’ve bought a few books recently and they are on the shelf alongside the other novels I’ve never read, but as soon as I’ve read them they’ll be passed on. Other than that, I’ve purchased a few household items to help organise the space I do have a little better and I think that’s where I’ll be focusing short-term. A few smart ideas to help store things, to make the space look bigger than it is, and I should be sorted.

And then there are the vanity items. The aforementioned cushions fall into that bracket, but the purchase of my lime green sofa was part of a deliberate move away from duller colours (my living room was mostly dark browns and deep reds before) to embracing colour far more. A few tweaks here or there (and possibly the purchase of a dark mustard yellow coloured footstool) and I should be set.

I do enjoy this aspect of being in a new space, a chance to re-invent through necessity, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’m also re-inventing myself; counselling for the mind, bootcamp for the body. A friend of mine commented as much recently, saying that he was proud of me for getting help with these things, and that I was setting an example, tackling all of this at once.

And for once I’m doing my best to take his compliment to heart. I am doing a lot, I am working hard physically and mentally, and this weekend, after I returned from bootcamp and I sat on my newly delivered sofa, I looked around my new living room and smiled.

Weekend Reading

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  • LEGO Macintosh Classic with e‑paper display
    tl;dr: I built a Wi-Fi enabled LEGO Macintosh Classic running Docker on a Raspberry Pi Zero with an e‑paper display. Docker deployments via resin.io. [photos] I am not a 100% sure if it was this exact model or perhaps even the Macintosh 128K from 1988, but I guess it doesn’t really matter.
    File under: Will likely never do but GEEKtastic
  • Margaret Atwood, the Prophet of Dystopia
    When Margaret Atwood was in her twenties, an aunt shared with her a family legend about a possible seventeenth-century forebear: Mary Webster, whose neighbors, in the Puritan town of Hadley, Massachusetts, had accused her of witchcraft.
    I’m a ‘late’ fan of hers, wonderful profile of an amazing talent.
  • Gillian Anderson’s & David Duchovny’s Voices Return for An X-Files Case on Audiobook
    X-Files fans who still want to believe there’s more supernatural mystery stories to be told, the truth is out there. And by “out there,” we mean another X-Files mystery in the form of an audiobook.
    File under: Some people might enjoy this.
  • Will London Fall?
    London may be the capital of the world. You can argue for New York, but London has a case. Modern London is the metropolis that globalization created. Walk the streets of Holborn, ride an escalator down to the Tube and listen to the languages in the air.
    Part of me doesn’t care. Part of me knows the impact will be massive.
  • Why Are So Many People Popping Vitamin D?
    There was no reason for the patients to receive vitamin D tests. They did not have osteoporosis; their bones were not cracking from a lack of the vitamin. They did not have diseases that interfere with vitamin D absorption.
    Another health fad? Perhaps.
  • Why Do Movie Villains Have So Many Dermatological Issues?
    In the real world, a prominent facial scar can cause embarrassment and social anxiety. In the movies, it’s enough to drive a man to murder. This discrepancy is the focus of a new investigation published in JAMA Dermatology last week.
    Glib headline for an interesting topic.
  • The subtle brilliance of Sesame Street’s first episode starring an autistic Muppet
    When I was three or four, some friends of my parents threw a party; the kids went and played in the basement while the adults sat upstairs and talked.
    Yay for this. More of this needed!
  • An Hour of Running May Add 7 Hours to Your Life
    Running may be the single most effective exercise to increase life expectancy, according to a new review and analysis of past research about exercise and premature death.
    File under: But didn’t ‘scientists’ say running was bad for us, not that long ago?
  • What happens to political satire when the real world goes mad?
    On Nov. 8, as the nation picked its 45th president, Julia Louis-Dreyfus spent the night observing a fake election. The scene, filmed for an upcoming episode of the political comedy “Veep,” unfolded in what was supposed to be a polling station in a post-Soviet republic.
    Wait, Trump ISN’T satire? Depressing news.

Six by Nico: The Chippie

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TL;DR – my tweet from last night:

Despite the fact the ‘parent’ restaurant (111 by Nico) was a 2 minute walk from my last flat, I only ate there once but it was a fantastic meal. So when I heard about this new venture, and started reading the reviews, I was desperate to try it out.

The premise is simple enough, as explained on their website:

A NEW RESTAURANT EVERY SIX WEEKS
Six by Nico will be home to a series of carefully curated and constantly evolving restaurant concepts.
Each six weeks, Nico and his team will serve a brand new six-course tasting-menu – each one themed upon a different place or memory.

We were there on Tuesday night, catching the tail end of the first six weeks of the restaurant – “The Chippie: A nostalgic nod to the traditional Fish and chip shop, this restaurant will showcase the ‘Best of British’ flavours for which the UK is famed for worldwide.” – and yes, it includes their take on a deep fried mars bar.

Entering the restaurant (at 9:15pm on a Tuesday night, one of the few mid-week seatings that was still available when I booked) you are warmly greeted and welcomed to a very stylish place. The first thing you’ll notice is the kitchen, open to the restaurant. The decor is dark but not gloomy, refined without feeling like it’s trying too hard. We were sat in the table by the door, right next to the kitchen area. Only downside was the draught from the front door but that’s mostly down to people not knowing how to shut a door properly (although could be ‘fixed’ by installing a taller glass panel at the back of the booth perhaps?). Even the menu and wine list shared the same high quality, muted appeal.

Safe to say the attention to detail was great, all the way down to the old school salt and vinegar condiments on the table, just like you get in a Chippie. Clever touch.

The staff were great. Friendly, relaxed, and clearly well drilled. They knew what they were talking about, explained each of the six dishes as they were presented to us and, always a good sign, they had definitely all tried the food. So, when you are trying to figure out what that extra component in a dish was, they can help tell you it was probably the tuna in the broth…

Anyway, on to the food. As it’s a set taster menu, you don’t really have to do much other than choose your drinks. We didn’t go for the wine pairing (this time), but felt it rude not to also get the Snacks & Bread prior to the first course. And boy did it set the tone for what lay ahead.

I had checked out the full menu beforehand and at first glance I was a little bemused…

  1. Chips & Cheese
  2. Scampi
  3. Steak Pie
  4. Special Fish
  5. Smoked Sausage
  6. Deep Fried Mars Bar

But of course there is a lot more to it than that, what we actually got were six dishes that were excellent prepared, beautifully presented and would grace the finest tables in the land! Specifically (and to be fair, I’m playing fast and loose with the menu here, it’s clearly articulated on their website):

  1. Crisp potato cannelloni with crowdie mousse
  2. Scrabster monkfish cheek, squid ink and herb emulsion
  3. Speyside beef shin, onion choucroute and brioche
  4. Shetland cod with sea vegetable, pickled mussels and taramasalata
  5. Ayrshire pork with black pudding, apple and celeriac
  6. Salted caramel, chocolate nougat, malt parfait

Heaven on a plate

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Without fail, every dish elicited high praise from our table, usually through a quiet contemplative silence as we all just sat and savoured the fresh flavours and wonderful combinations, knowing nods as each mouthful revealed another contrast of flavour or texture, and cleared plates at every pass.

I’m stopping short of trying to describe each dish, largely because I don’t have the vocabulary but each one displayed the same core thinking. Take ‘know flavours’ and distil them down to their core, then present them in clever ways in dishes that were without fault.

A small example, accompanying the cod dish there were small morsels of crumb which tasted exactly like salt and vinegar batter. As each of us discovered these on the plate we all had the same look of delight on our faces as we were transported back to the chippies of our childhood.

The real kicker to all of this? The one thing I still can’t quite get my head around given the quality of what is on offer? All of this, the staff, the service, the fantastic food… £25 for the taster menu (all in with starters and wine, we were £40 a head), £25! Amazing value.

They announced the new menu for the coming six week stint and by the end of our meal we had already booked to go back in a few weeks. Can’t really give it higher praise than that and, as I said, I’m not sure I have the words to do so.