Balance

I’ve use this word a lot and over the years finding emotional balance has become increasingly important to me as I start to understand how I work and function best. In the past I’ve been very guilty of taking on too much, either explicitly or without realising, and leaving myself open to the big dark clouds that occasionally loom when I start to failing to deliver on my promises or living up to (perceived) expectations. Thankfully I’ve gotten past a lot of that and, whilst I will always want to try and make things better for people, to fix things that are broken, and generally try and make sure that the people I care about are happy, I know it’s …

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My nonmonogamy

Written in response to the monthly theme on Poly Means Many: Types of Nonmonogamy I’m not big on definitions and labels, and as I’m still new to the concept of non-monogamy itself (he said, neatly avoiding having to label my own relationship type for the moment) all of the terminology around this lifestyle is something that I’m still getting my head around. However, whilst my preference is to try and avoid applying labels I understand that they help communicate the construct, status, or hierarchy of a relationship to other people. Mind you that presumes that anyone that I’m discussing my relationships with knows what each specific label means and, for the most part, that isn’t the case. So I find myself …

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Assumptions

Written in response to the monthly theme on Poly Means Many: Assumptions I am not ‘one of the lads’, I can play the role when needed but recently I’ve been less inclined to do so. It’s taken me a while to figure out why but I think it’s because I’m getting fed up with the assumptions made about me and my life choices. I have two girlfriends. I talk of going on dates. Most of my peers (professionally at least) are married with children. I’m the same age as them but living the, perceived, life of a 20-something, out most weekends, partying and indulging in what they presume to be “debauchery” (they probably think I’m a swinger). As I’ve started …

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Lots of new things

There are many different types of relationship, many different ways those relationships function, and many different forms the dynamic takes between two or more people. At present, for these things are prone to change, I’m lucky enough to be in a relationship with a woman who shares my views on these things. We’ve both been in monogamous relationships in the past (which wasn’t a bad thing), but looking to the future we are currently in an open relationship, free to see other people, and believe that it is possible to have: more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved… [polyamory] I’m lucky enough to know some people already in such a relationship and as I …

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Pondering Poly

On Facebook, I am listed as being in an ‘Open Relationship’ with Kirsty. It’s something we are still figuring out, and it may change in the future. I’ve had some brief conversations with friends and family but really, what does it mean? Ultimately, that’s a question I can’t yet answer and, knowing that relationships evolve I’m not sure I ever will. However, I’m lucky enough to know some people involved in a polyamorous relationship and they, and other people in similar circumstances, are writing some fascinating posts. The series is called Poly Means Many (http://www.polymeansmany.com/) and is picking apart the misconceptions and misunderstandings around what these relationships are about. Since my divorce, the whole concept of what a relationship means …

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