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This is where a blog post would be if I had something I could or even wanted to post about.

There would no doubt be some sentences, maybe a little attempt at humour, a quip or a pun, there MAY EVEN BE TEXT IN CAPITALS to signify that I’m feeling slightly indignant about something, or just as a poor way to emphasis a word or point (poor because I lack the necessary vocabulary to express said point in a manner which you’d understand through lowercase text alone).

There may also be parenthesis to include additional clauses that I think help explain something I’ve just said.

There won’t be all that much text in italics.

And finally I’d try and wrap it all up, make sure I’ve not offended anyone and then go and get some dinner because I’m starving.

But, for now, I’ll just leave you with this.

I hope you have found the time and space useful.

Be happy.

Yours “doesn’t have much to say but can’t NOT say anything”

Gordon

bookmark_borderThe need for speed

How fast do you drive? At present I have a powerful car, which I admit I drive too fast. I like to think I’m pretty careful, I’m not doing 60mph past schools or anything, but if the road is clear, and conditions are good my right foot does tend to get quite heavy.

And I’m really not all that sorry about it. Irresponsible? Occasionally. Human? Undoubtedly. It’s not something I’m proud to admit but there you have it.

Part of the attraction is the thrill. There is a feeling of being alive that can be obtained which is similar to (but not as intense as) riding a rollercoaster, and isn’t that one of the things that defines us? Our drive towards emotion? It’s why people throw themselves down icy mountains on flimsy pieces of moulded glass fibre, or disappear into uncharted territories full of nasty beasties and big scary monsters, it’s all done in the name of emotion and that wonderful adrenalin rush that comes from pushing things to the edge of your control.

God, I sound like some hopped-up loony, driving at 100mph every chance I get. I’m not, honest. I top out about 90…

In all seriousness, being a responsible adult (stop laughing at the back!) means that there is a constant battle when these situations arise. The emotion-driven part of me strives for more, faster, higher, closer to the edge, the rational part of me senses the danger and the safety mechanisms kick in. Partly fear, partly self-preservation, it rails against adrenalin, and endorphin.

I know I’m not alone in this respect, that with middle-age approaching and the tendency for life to start to slow down kicking in, driving a car is sometimes the only place where such vicarious thrills can be saught. Perhaps I should’ve gotten into more outdoor based sports like caneoing which I enjoyed, I’m sure I would get a similar thrill, blasting down a fast flowing river. Man versus nature and all that.

Alas we all live in a society and as such need to obey the rules, which means being sensible, colouring between the lines, and following a set of principles.

Or you could bend the rules a little, occasionally let the urge to be silly take over, and slap bright dabs of your favourite colour wherever you damn well like.

After all, life is about living.

bookmark_borderAll work, no play

OK, let me just get this out of the road up front. I enjoy my Work. I enjoy the Work part of it, I enjoy the people (mostly), I enjoy the challenges, the thinking processes, the bigger picture planning and the day to day detail that I need to attend to.

I get frustrated from time to time, who doesn’t, but ultimately my week is very much focussed on Work.

I also enjoy my work, as there is a large crossover between that and my Work.

Apologies, I’m presuming that you’ve read this post about a presentation given by Clay Shirky that I have, which offers the following quote:

“(Capital-W) Work is what we have considered for years: your boss tells you to do something, you do it, and you get paid. By contrast, (little-w) work is motivated by inherent interest and generally unpaid. Think of the difference between an Encyclopedia Britannica editor doing Work, and a Wikipedia editor doing work during spare hours. Big Work drives the economy; little work drives the Internet. Big Work builds skyscrapers; little work generates a half million fanfiction stories about Harry Potter.”

I’m in a slightly different position when it comes to (Capital-W) Work as I head up a team so don’t really have anyone telling me what to do on a daily basis (that said, I pretty much leave the team to their own ends for the most part).

Lowercase work is largely focussed on the internet, be it creating websites, or, ummmm, creating websites. And again that is something I really enjoy, the challenges, the thought processes and the sense of achievement.

That’s not to say that I don’t like to play, I do, it’s just for the most part of the week it’s more about Work, or work. It seems to be the way I’m wired.

Cue Mother and a comment about “just like his Dad”.

Ohhh which reminds me, I’ll be “out to play” in London soon (early March), and whilst it’ll be a school night I’m sure I can tempt some of you lovely people out for a small beverage or three. More details on that soon!

bookmark_borderMystery

Two things happen to me on a semi-regular basis. Well, a lot of things happen to me on a semi-regular basis but I’m only going to mention two of them in this blog post. Frankly if I was to list all the things that happen to me on a semi-regular basis I’d be here all day and you’d be somewhere else because that would probably be THE MOST BORING BLOG POST IN THE WORLD, EVAH!

So I’ll limit it to two things that happen to me, mainly because there is no pattern as to when they happen and I’ve never been able to figure out what causes them.

Now let me just stress that these things are, in the grand scheme of things, not a big deal at all and they certainly aren’t things that I lie awake at night worrying over (that pleasure is reserved for trying to figure out WHAT THE HELL THE CAT HAS DRAGGED IN THIS TIME).

Well, that’s not quite true as one of the things is precisely that, waking up at 2am wide awake and no matter what I try I just know there is no point fighting it. So I get up, either watch TV for a few hours or aimlessly surf the internet and finally start feeling sleepy by about 5am. I go back to bed and get up at 6.30, bright and breezy and ready for another day at work. Or, you know, not.

Thankfully I’m usually pretty grumpy of a morning so no-one really notices.

I’ve tried cutting back on my caffeine intake but these ‘episodes’ happen on an irregular basis and it’s only a handful of times a year so it’s almost impossible to figure out why.

I won’t dwell on the second issue too much, but I do get nosebleeds now and then, again seemingly at random. I figure they are down to what is probably termed “local environmental artefacts”.

Or maybe I should just stop picking my nose…

The thing is that, in years gone past, I’d have worried and pondered and thought about these two things in great detail, scrutinising every scrap of evidence I could think of to try and understand the cause.

These days I just accept that they happen and it’s just another few things to add to the randomness that is life.

Some would say “older and wiser”, but I just think it’s acceptance that you just can’t understand everything.

bookmark_borderAlways Learning

In using up the last of my holiday allocation for the year, I find myself finishing up on the 17th December and not returning to work until the 5th of January.

Previously I’d have viewed that as a good chance to get some things done (and there are two things I MUST get done before the end of the year) but being yet another year old and wiser I’ve decided not to bother making any plans.

Sure if I end up with a free day I have a few things in mind, but by and large I’ll be taking things as they come. It’s gonna be a chilled out Christmas.

bookmark_borderCurious Daylight

I’ve spent most of the evening retagging MP3s in my iTunes library in an effort to get them all cleaned up. I tried this with a bit of software before but it did more damage than good so I’m just slowly working my way through by hand and, as it turns out, it’s quite fun for no other reason than it is allowing me to revisit some music I’ve not played for ages.

It’s also kicking off a bit of nostalgia at times as well, as I pick over different eras in my music taste, particularly when I stumbled across an old Kevin McDermott Orchestra album which I played so much the CD started to wear through!

There was a time, in my late teens, when I was heavily into the Scottish music scene, Simple Minds, Love & Money, The Silencers, The Humpff family and Del Amitri, and given that I was ‘growing up’ at that point it’s fair to say that a lot of the lyrical content seemed to resonate deeply with me.

Now I’m not saying that any of the aforementioned bands were particularly adept at song writing but remember, I was a bag of hormones and emotions so even the simplest line of melancholy had me proclaiming it as the best song EVER.

However what took me by surprise, as I flicked through some of the tracks, was how deeply they STILL resonate. One perfect example is on the Kevin McDermott album, Bedazzled, a track called Curious Daylight:

I hope this song makes sense tomorrow,
My words keep falling on the floor,
It’s nearly dawn and soon I’ll follow,
It’s time you helped me to the door.

So now we know that something’s wrong.
We’ve been on this ship too long.

I can’t wait, til we’ve got it made,
I can’t wait, til we turn the tide,
I can’t wait, cos I see everything,
and it sure looks strange in this curious daylight.

Wish we could talk about the weather,
Fall asleep and wake as friends,
but I can’t talk about forever,
and I’m the villain once again.

We’re getting further from the shore,
but I’ve sailed this sea before.

But I can’t wait, til we’ve got it made,
I can’t wait, til we turn the tide,
I can’t wait, cos I see everything,
and it sure looks strange in this curious daylight.

Though I need you more than ever,
Because the cards I have are always wild,
I’m trying to keep this ship together,
so try to understand the thankless child.

I don’t expect to be forgiven,
There’re things that I could never be,
No well intentioned break upon the shores of heaven,
No endless refuge.

I’ve been on this ship so long,
and I’ve never felt this strong,
Now I can’t wait, til we’ve got it made,
I can’t wait, til we turn the tide,
I can’t wait, cos I see everything,
and it sure looks strange in this curious daylight.

Nothing special, for sure, but it still made me stop and sit back and just listen to the music. Not something I do all that often, and it evoked a powerful set of memories, of people and places, laughter and tears.

It also reminds me that memories, good ones, are very important and I should try harder not to leave them to tarnish.