Good causes

The International Aids Conference kicks off today, and I’m forced to count my blessings. I hate being forced to do anything, but I can always make some exceptions. Now is it only me, or are there too many good causes to support? If (sorry, when) I win the lottery I will give virtually all the money to charity. OK so I know, and you know that I won’t, but I would like to, and surely it’s the thought that counts… right? Hmmm I feel a SomeTHiNG coming on… which also reminds me to re-visit my short pieces and see if I’ve advanced the ideas yet. Coffee time. Later.

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Peaceful and still

Sunday, it’s oh so quiet… I love lazy days, telly playing in the background, coffee will be in constant supply and, as I type, the sun is breaking through… hmmm this is all a bit poetic… The weekends are beginning to drag, we need a break, to get away, change the scenario, even if just for a few days.

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Happy joy

Happy happy joy joy… working at home but not actually minding it as much as I thought I would. M:I2 last night, was OK. It has taken me until now to figure out what irked me about it. It felt constrained, like it was holding back. A time-bomb that never went off. Think the weekend will be good.

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Different

“No, not that one…hmmm that one’s OK…” It has to be different, I have to be different – but do I want to change me? Or others perception of me? Well that’s the easiest question I’ve asked so far! Dreaming of a genie, 3 wishes, teeth that don’t need brushed, weight that stays off, hair that stays on… So why the obsession with different? Is it because I always tried so hard to fit in, without realising I never would? I remember simple pleasures, walking alone. I remember the pressures of walking home from school with others. Enjoying attention, never seeking it, always desiring it. Unsure of my confidence, unwilling to make a fool of myself (THAT’S why I don’t …

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Random

A myriad of disjoined thoughts, flittering about, lighting on reason and logic for the briefest of moments. Related illusions, bare facts, optimism, despair, hope, laughter. Life is odd at the moment, contradicting circumstances are beginning to reflect on each other, the negative affecting the positive. All the time my thoughts refuse to stay hidden, and leap into the forefront of my mind. Not a bad thing, but a distraction nevertheless. The focus shifts again, maybe if… what if… searching for answers, knowing that none will present themselves. Focus shift – the future, gleaming, bright, shiny, new. Obtainable? Easy way out, difficult choices. Salvation as distractions return, day-dream, focus shift. Magpie outside commands the attention – freedom, no choices only instinct. …

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Annoying

It’s annoying sometimes, isn’t it – the way you want to do so much, but seem incapable of doing any of it. I annoy myself constantly, and catch myself frequently promising things I can’t deliver. Regular updates to this site for one! (but hey, I never promised that…did I?) It relates back to plans and promises, and seems an endless circle. Each time I promise anything I get two, sometimes three, steps into it, and stop. I’ll spend less time on the PC – two weeks later I’m back to the usual 1 a.m. stints. I’ll go the gym…tomorrow…I’ll get better organised..well actually that ones not going too badly. The main thing I have to learn, I think, is to …

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Saturday

8th January 2000 – a Saturday night. It was raining, cold, and miserable. We decide on the Balloch Hotel, it has that cosy, homily feel that pubs seem to lack these days. It also DOESN’T have music pumping at 200 decibels (oh god, I’m getting old). So we sat, drank beer, and talked. It was great. We covered recent events in our lifes, discussed what we hoped the future would hold, told crap jokes, and finally, as we always do, started reminiscing. There aren’t many people that I consider as good friends, but on Saturday night, mine were all there. We have been through a lot, laughed, cried, argued and fought. No doubt we will go through more, and remain …

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Upbeat

I enjoy working with computers. It may be sad, but it is true. I will quite happily sit for hours on end, tweaking a database design, updating a website, designing a skin etc etc. I don’t play games on it much. Recently though, it’s been taking over a bit. I’ve been spending more and more time on it, neglecting the important things. At the moment I have this website, Instant Ideas (a resource for hospital radio in the UK), and the Hospital Radio Lennox website which needs drastically updated. We have a couple of databases for our CD’s and video’s and I’m planning one for MiniDisc as well. I am in the midst of creating skins for WinAmp and WindowBlinds …

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