Off

I need to be more aggressive, I’m getting left behind for being too nice, not demanding enough. Maybe I should change careers, I would love to work with animals, or anything more rewarding than what I do now. I am soooo hacked off with work right now. I’m not sure if it’s just my usual – I want it all – mood, or whether I have a legitimate right to be pissed off. Actually scratch that. I don’t care whether I have the right or not. Fuck it.

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Right again

I love being proved right! Just after lunchtime on Monday, the sun is splitting the sky, and I’m in the ‘I could really do with not being here’ mood. S has just said she needs a holiday and I know how she feels. Still badminton tonight, something else for me to do, and the re-design is… well it is gonna happen…

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Zing

Recharged after an excellent weekend. Sunshine, a couple of good days, and life is rosy again, isn’t it funny how quickly things can change… It’s weekends like that, that make Mondays so bad.

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I want more

Wednesday, slipping down. I’m in that strange place where I can’t be bothered with anything, but desperately want to try something new. Yoga? The often mentioned T’ai Chi? Self-improvement seems to be a continual push, so I’m obviously not happy with me right now. But then I always want more. It’s true. When will I stop? Another indicator – Rage Against the Machine, Korn, Skunk Anansie. Radiohead is the next stop.

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Good causes

The International Aids Conference kicks off today, and I’m forced to count my blessings. I hate being forced to do anything, but I can always make some exceptions. Now is it only me, or are there too many good causes to support? If (sorry, when) I win the lottery I will give virtually all the money to charity. OK so I know, and you know that I won’t, but I would like to, and surely it’s the thought that counts… right? Hmmm I feel a SomeTHiNG coming on… which also reminds me to re-visit my short pieces and see if I’ve advanced the ideas yet. Coffee time. Later.

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Peaceful and still

Sunday, it’s oh so quiet… I love lazy days, telly playing in the background, coffee will be in constant supply and, as I type, the sun is breaking through… hmmm this is all a bit poetic… The weekends are beginning to drag, we need a break, to get away, change the scenario, even if just for a few days.

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Happy joy

Happy happy joy joy… working at home but not actually minding it as much as I thought I would. M:I2 last night, was OK. It has taken me until now to figure out what irked me about it. It felt constrained, like it was holding back. A time-bomb that never went off. Think the weekend will be good.

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Different

“No, not that one…hmmm that one’s OK…” It has to be different, I have to be different – but do I want to change me? Or others perception of me? Well that’s the easiest question I’ve asked so far! Dreaming of a genie, 3 wishes, teeth that don’t need brushed, weight that stays off, hair that stays on… So why the obsession with different? Is it because I always tried so hard to fit in, without realising I never would? I remember simple pleasures, walking alone. I remember the pressures of walking home from school with others. Enjoying attention, never seeking it, always desiring it. Unsure of my confidence, unwilling to make a fool of myself (THAT’S why I don’t …

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