Fight

I can remember the jeering, the cajoling and the pushing, a cacophony of noise and blurs as we got pushed together in the long grass. I can’t see the faces but I know I recognised most of them, I was first to get to the agreed place and then all of a sudden more faces and my opponent is before me and it’s all happening so quickly and I don’t really know what to do. I can remember the stomach clenching fear and nerves that made my skin jitter, and fighting the desire to vomit. Senses heightened, adrenalin coursing, fight or flight instincts pinging loudly around my brain. I did not want to be there but knew I couldn’t be …

Continue reading

Love

It is rightly hard to put into words. It can be raw, deep, and fleeting, all at the same time. It can bring comfort, joy, security, and a sense of quiet peace to your life. It doesn’t matter where it comes from, and I’ve found it best not to question it too strongly. And no, I can’t explain it to you, not properly. And as cliched as it is, once you’ve found it you’ll know and you’ll realise how much it means to you. Once you have it, you’ll find the world changing around you in the best of ways. There are many forms of love, mostly when we think of love we think of partners and the emotional connection …

Continue reading

Game

Our two dogs have a number of chew toys. Occasionally we will buy them something nicer, an antler perhaps, to chew on. Their breed does a lot of chewing and they have powerful jaws so antlers are the choice du jour. There are two dogs, so we buy two small antler (parts, it’s not a full on antler getting thrown about the living room!), so they each have one. Of course that’s not how it works. How it works is that, for some reason or another, one of the antlers is deemed the favourite and then they spend hour after hour trying to trick each other into giving it up. Dave usually gets first shot at it as he is …

Continue reading

Party

Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1999, sang Prince. Which would mean ditching our smartphones, not playing Crazy in Love, or Uptown Funk, and I’m not even sure I want to contemplate the fashion choices we’d be subjecting ourself to once more. I bought the single, 1999, when it came out. It wasn’t my first foray into the music of Prince but it was the one that got me hooked and delving back through his previous albums. Years later, when it was 1999, with the millenium looming it re-entered the radio playlists and made me think back to my childhood parties. There are photos of my first few birthday parties, typically just me and a couple of friends (Alan and …

Continue reading

Animal

I’ve always enjoyed nature documentaries. Admittedly in the UK we are especially spoiled by the wonderful gift that is Sir David Attenborough. For many people my age we grew up with his voice resonating. Before that there was Animal Magic with Johnny Morris, another advocate who taught us so much whilst making us laugh as well. And of course like many children I grew up with pets, two little remember tortoise called Jack & Jill, and my still missed best pal Sintra. Countless goldfish and the odd hamster too, of course. That early fascination with animals has remained with me, and my most typical reply to the question of “if you could do any job in the world?” is always …

Continue reading

Renovation

The title of my blog has been Happily Imperfect for some time now. I’ve written about this before but since then, things have changed. The name came about because I am, on the whole, happy with who I am, where I am in my life, and where my life is headed. If anything, the past year or so has made me even happier but ‘Happier Imperfect’ doesn’t really scan… and there’s the rub, since I last wrote about this, almost five years ago, I’ve found myself at place that could simply be described as ‘Happy’ but, again, it’s not the best title for a blog… Yes, I am happy. Happy with my life. Finally. It feels good to have gotten …

Continue reading

Recycling

Every little helps. It’s a reasonable maxim to live your life by; save a little money when you can, eat a little less of the bad things and exercise a little more than you do to stay fit and healthy, make a little gesture to brighten the day of a stranger, and so on and so on. A little at a time. It all helps. It’s also a phrase to hold on to in the growing clamour around the state of the world we live in, the damage we all do to the environment every day, not to mention the lies and misinformation that are spread, for some reason, by people who seem to be happy to let the world …

Continue reading

Beverage

I’m on my way to work. I step off the bus and head for the same location as I have these past four years. As I enter, if she’s working, Alice says hi and takes my precious travel mug from me, and starts to prepare my … wait for it, large skinny, sugar-free vanilla, latte. I wouldn’t say I’m addicted, more that I like routine, and as this coffee house is on my way to the office, it’s a convenient place to stop. Isn’t that what an addict would say? I’ve tried going cold turkey, both by choice and by happen-stance, neither times were particularly fun and both resulted in a splitting headache by the early afternoon. At a previous …

Continue reading

Smells

“In the greenhouse, my grandfather and me. Smells of summer.” – Martin Stephenson. Is it the gentle aroma you get after a warm summer shower on dry soil? (Also known as Petrichor). Is it the subtle waft of a perfume from a passerby that transports you to forgotten time and place? Is it the smell of fried onions, or grilled bacon, that dances on your tongue? My sense of smell isn’t the greatest, I don’t think, I mean I’ve never had it tested so it might well be as good or as bad as anyone else, but as I don’t tend to remember smells, and don’t tend to use them the way I use imagery and words as a way …

Continue reading

Book

A couple of years ago I sat down at my desk. It was the first day of a dark November and my intention was to write 50,000 words of a new novel, my first. Having written posts for this blog for several years, and increasingly looked to improve the quality of the writing it was an interesting project. Write a book, they said. I’ve been reading books for as long as I can remember. My father is an avid reader, and weekly trips to the local library are a formative part of my youth. The children’s section was downstairs and it was there I’d head whilst my father went off to roam the aisles. It was liberating to be fully …

Continue reading