bookmark_borderHello 2024

Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head. Well, I would’ve but for one thing I’m not in a Beatles song, and more pertinently I have no hair on my head, something my 2 year old son recently confirmed to me when, upon being asked if Daddy had hair on his head like he did, he looked me right in the eye and, with a little laugh and smile said ‘No’.

He’s definitely my son, the cheeky wee bugger.

Christmas is over, a new year has rolled around and I’m full of positive and good intentions, PMA oozes from my pores although that might be the third coffee I’ve just downed. I’m hoping to keep my blogging mojo on the burner but as ever I won’t make any promises, this will be what it will be and that’s ok.

Jack had a great time over the festive period, he’s not fully aware of the whole idea of Santa and Christmas yet but he will be this year, so we took advantage of that and kept everything low-key. Christmas Day was a feast of family and food, and it was a good reminder of the good people we have around us. 27th is my annual ‘friends day’ which is always fun, and aside from that it was pretty much just spending time with my son. Add in a cheeky night away for Mummy and Daddy (thanks to Granny Morna for the babysitting) and it’s been a refreshing break.

Hogmanay was wild though, wow! I jest, Becca was working early on New Year’s Day so it was the usual routine and I’m pretty sure I was asleep by about 10pm.

2024 will bring what it will bring – so far I have a 50 mile cycle planned (Etape Caledonia), and we will be heading to Skye for a holiday around May/June – and no doubt there will be more changes to accommodate along the way, more chances to learn, more ways to be a better me.

As always I’ll remain Happily Imperfect though, it’s the only way I know how.

bookmark_borderIt’s that time of year again

When bloggers start to compile lists, pulling their worldly-wise thoughts together into recaps, looking ahead at the looming calendar change and all that it brings with it (or not if that’s what floats your boat).

I don’t get much time to write these days as the bulk of the content I create is for my journal and, specifically, the monthly letters I’m writing to my son. I am still trying to carve time for this weird little space of mine; the existence of this blog remains a mystery to me, even though I’ve been nipping in and out of the archives of late, marveling at the crafted words that leap from the screen. Did I really write them? Isn’t it odd how time and a live well lived can alter your own perception of your own abilities.

That said, having been at this blogging lark for a while now I can sense my fingers itching to find the sweet spot between cliche and anything resembling something interesting to read and so, dear reader I give you two recaps for my past year.

It has been an amazing year, a wonderful holiday in France, the love and support of our families, a new job that I am enjoying immensely, and as the year staggers to an end I find I can mostly reflect on the positives this year has brought. I look no further than my own home for a reminder of the love, happiness and comfort I know I am ohhhh so lucky to enjoy.

It has been a shit show of a year, I lost my job the night before we travelled to a 3 week holiday in France so had to spend 2 weeks doing interviews and sending my CV left, right, and centre. Our car lease ended and we had to downsize (literally) to something much cheaper. I’ve not established any form of exercise routine and have put even more weight on (on to a body that really does NOT need more weight on it). And there are other closer to home issues that are on my mind that I am powerless to do anything about. Ohh and the Tories are still in power, money is tight, and I’m permanently tired.

Emotionally it’s been a rollercoaster but hey, that’s life. Ups and downs, like every year before this one, and all the ones yet to follow… ohhh yes, may as well play into the cliche and head down the Christmas Past, and Christmases yet to come route!

On the whole I’d very on the first recap, largely because of how happy I am on the whole, the simple act of waking up my son in the morning, or playing on the floor with him, or splashing in puddles with him, or partaking in whichever activity he favours the most on any given day, have me happy and smiling, no matter how tired or fatigued I’ve felt. Add to that the support, care and encouragement my amazing partner has continued to offer me, no matter what she is going through, only adds to the sense of disbelief and joy I feel; tellingly these were the two main emotions I experienced this past year!

If I was a good blogger I’d now recap my favourite things from the past year, the best books I’ve read (so far I’ve read 32, the DI Fawleys remain the most enjoyable), the best TV show watched (Slow Horses, The Bear), and the most watched movie (Toy Story!).

But I’m not a good blogger and no longer care to track these things in any detail as, if I’m being honest, I’ve never really gotten any value from them and I’ve long since moved away from the ‘quantify your life’ view of things.

So their you have it, likely not my final post of the year but one that has been bubbling in my head from the moment the calendar turned to December. As I said, I’ve been doing this blogging thing for a while and old habits die hard. Yippekiyay Motherfuckers!!

bookmark_border24 years old

Happy Birthday you old blog you!

It started with this nonsense about sunglasses, which feels appropriate as, at this very moment I am on holiday in France and have the beginnings of tan lined where my sunglasses sit on my face.

The publishing frequency has dropped but as life evolves I am not giving up on this dusty old corner of the internet just yet.

Plans for getting back out cycling are forming, Jack is more and more independent (not 2 yet but is happiest pottering about in his own wee world), and the act of writing still holds a part of who I am.

Still, 24 years is a long time. Well done little blog!!

bookmark_borderBlogiverary: 23 years

Whilst the arrival of my son has curtailed posting here recently, I still have plans to post more often but as ever life is, wonderfully, gloriously, getting in the way.

23 years is a long time to be doing anything on a semi-regular basis and this blog has seen me through several major life events; a divorce, polyamorous relationships, multiple jobs, many ups and downs (and that’s just on the scales!), and more recently finding my best friend, having a baby with her and get married.

And to think it all started with a post about sunglasses.

Happy Birthday little blog!

bookmark_border22 years old

This blog is.

That’s quite a long time.

Even though posting is more sporadic than ever, it’s still going.

Bonkers.

Happy Birthday little blog.

That is all.

bookmark_borderAnd the keys go clack

Blocked.

Stuck.

Static.

Nothing.

OK, that’s four very similar words, that’s a start. Let’s build on that.

There must be something I can write about.

Somewhere.

Come on brain, let’s do this.

There is something in there somewhere. You know how this works.

Starting writing.

The words will come.

Won’t they?

I read an article about the impact the pandemic has had on casual friendships, those acquaintances you only saw now and then back in the heady days of 2019, it’s definitely something I could write about. How I’ve got a core group of close friends but everyone else is more an acquaintance, and how those latter relationships have been reduced to a few likes and comments here and there on social media.

But that’s not unique. Everyone is feeling that.

What else then.

I read about Joe Biden’s morning routine, I could write about mine, get up, stretch, have breakfast, go upstairs and start work.

Yeah that’s not really that interesting is it…

I’m running again, making my way through the Couch to 5K program, and in a week or so it’ll be complete.

Yeah, so there’s that.

What an odd time we live in.

OK, I give up.

To be honest between our recent engagement, the arrival of Daisy, and just getting on with life day by day, that feels like enough right now and whilst I have the usual morass of nonsense banging about in my head, and about six or seven blog posts in draft, this is about all I can muster up.

And my ohh my what a first world problem this, bemoaning the fact that I’m struggling to write down some words whilst I sit here in front of my shiny laptop in a warm home with food in the cupboards. What a privileged bubble to occupy.

But that’s a whole other thing. Right?

Or maybe that’s the point, that’s the blockage right there, the cold realisation that nothing I write here matters. Nothing I post is of consequence to anyone except me.

Yet that should be freeing, that should open the flood gates, if nothing I post here is of note, if it holds no real value then post and be damned! Except it’s never worked that way, has it. This is part of me, a filtered and focused view into my life, the parts of it I want to share with you at least. So dear reader, here we are again, another trip down the introspective rabbit hole? No, not today.

I’ll stop here and revisit those drafts I think, see if they can be cajoled and buffed into something. Anything.

Anyway, enough about me, how are you? Comments are open, what are you struggling with?