The Basics

I stumbled across an old post of mine the other day – one of those weird moments when you google something and your own site comes up – which discussed the idea that some of the basics of a profession were a given. They could, and should, rightfully be presumed. It made me realise I do the same of others in my social life as well. I have some basic ideals that I hold true and, while I will challenge them and expect others to as well, I have an unwritten expectation that the people I engage with will hold those ideals, morals and notions, to similar standards as mine. Wow, that sounds weirdly creepy to write. I guess all …

Continue reading »

Ill Moods

With the nausea and light headedness comes the dark. The craving of melancholy, musical choices change to the minor keys, the quiet and downbeat. Lyrics flow over old wounds. It is different now, the detachment of old is gone. Replaced by a floating view, looking down on this place, the swirling moods that ebb and flow. Sleep comes, the dreams slide from view and in the morning the mood remains unblinking and groggy. Sometimes it needs to be smashed, broken into pieces and scattered to the winds. It is merely a passing moment of life, it does not need to be reviled or pitied. And sometimes it needs to be coaxed quietly into the light where it will slowly and quietly fade …

Continue reading »

Face Value

OK, let’s get one thing out of the way. Yes, I will be buying an Apple Watch. Probably. Most likely. I’m not sure when, and it’ll certainly only be a final decision after I’ve had the chance to hold one in my hand and try one on my wrist, but for me it looks like it hits a sweet spot of design, user experience, and my continuing paring down of the artefacts of my life. How does adding another gadget help with the latter? Let me explain. As I mature, a phrase I prefer to use these days in preference to ‘get older’, I’ve been stripping away the superfluous items of my life and concentrating on items that hold some …

Continue reading »

How could I just kill a man?

It was the first time I’d killed a man. Logically it wasn’t any harder than killing a dog, the physics and physiology differ but the principles are the same. You plan the method of death, account for size and weight, and follow the plan step by step. It’s terrifyingly simple, terrifyingly easy. I can see why serial killers continue to kill again and again and again. After all everyone likes to improve, to do something better the next time, and soon it is a compulsion. A tweak here, a change of tactic there and maybe the perfect murder will happen next time. Not that you’d know a perfect murder when it happened, I don’t think. The perfect murder needs investigated, tested, …

Continue reading »

Buzz Buzz Buzz

The anticipation builds as I eat breakfast. A large full plate of not so healthy options. Sustenance for the coming hours, energy to deal with the adrenalin rush to follow. My mind races ahead, what will the design look like? The final version awaits me at the studio and as I head there my pace quickens in time with my racing heart. Once inside the design is revealed. Final tweaks discussed and then the cold wipe of alcohol and the sharp blade of the razor preps the skin. A cold shiver. The design is lined up, checked and double checked. In the mirror the first glimpse of what the future holds. Excitement levels peak. It begins. Positioned on the bench, …

Continue reading »

A big pot of time

Poly Means Many: There are many aspects of polyamory. Each month, the PMM bloggers will write about their views on one of them. Links to all posts can be found at www.polymeansmany.com. I like making stew, I like the simplicity of it, I like how the combination of ingredients becomes so much greater than the sum of its parts. Poly time management is like a stew. A big pot of time into which we chuck in all the schedules, plans, desires and appointments. Stir, season, leave to simmer for a few hours. Alas that’s where the resemblance ends. I like stew because it’s one big pot of awesome but unfortunately I can’t then ladle out a bowl of only carrots and …

Continue reading »

My Shadow

You do not know me. I do not know all of me. What you read here is not me. It is a small part, a feather plucked from my plummage. Sometimes it is shiny and bright, the dazzling blue shimmering in the sun. Sometimes it is dull and brown, a soft down of comfort. Occasionally the feather is jet black, absorbing light, hanging heavy on the page. And that’s the thing, we are all complex people (we are all our own unique fucking snowflake) and through social media we can pick and choose which parts of us we expose. Some people enjoy the peacocking of social media, their lives painted in vivid technicolour, bright daubs of achievement are all you …

Continue reading »

Honesty and trust

One thing that has continued to take me by surprise, despite the overwhelming evidence that suggests it shouldn’t, is how many benefits there are to being open and honest in your relationships, building a trust that makes so many other aspects of the relationship so much easier. What that really means is being honest with yourself and that’s one of the things that being poly has really helped me with. I’m forced to look at myself, raw and exposed, to face up to my own shortcomings and issues rather than putting them away in a box. This is nothing to do with being poly of course, it’s something I should’ve been doing for years but those boxes were so easy …

Continue reading »

A box of valentine

Whilst it may be Chaucer that popularised the notion of romantic love being celebrated today, it seems that social expectation has taken hold and placed us all at the behest and behemothic budgets of a massive industry. Cards to buy, chocolates to order, flowers to be delivered, candlelit dinners to be enjoyed, discrete Ann Summers packages to be unwrapped in the bedroom. It’s all very formulaic and about as far removed from romance as I can imagine. Of course it’s easy to dismiss all of this. A roll of the eyes whilst you point out that you don’t need one day to prove your love, and the clarion call of ‘commercialisation’ is an easy one to fall back on but …

Continue reading »

No Excuses

It’s too easy for me to avoid and put off things I know I should do. I’m not sure why that is, why my willpower diminishes at odd points of the day and with little to no warning. Some days I’m buzzed up and feeling good and getting things done, which in turn helps me feel good and get more things done – nothing like a bit of achievement to drive more achievement, regardless of the scale. But some days I can go from that to sofa mode in a matter of minutes. I get around this by scheduling time and by keeping a list of things I need to do, even if I don’t always stick to them it …

Continue reading »