Taking stock

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You know that thing where your brain grabs hold of something, an event, a thought, a desire or loathing, and then twists it and wrings it out and leaves it floating around in your brain as either the best thing ever or the worst thing in the world? Yeah?

OK, so it’s usually the latter and as soon as it happens our little friend anxiety rocks up and is all ‘hey, you having a worry party? here, let me help!’. Because, as we all know, anxiety is a dick.

Being made redundant is one of those life moments that I’ve experienced three times now, and I know that this time I’ve got a better handle on things, yet that doesn’t stop anxiety kicking in every now and then to remind me that I DON’T HAVE A JOB OR ANY SECURITY AND SOON I WILL BE HOMELESS AND LIVING ROUGH ON THE STREETS AND MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY WILL ABANDON ME!!!

Which is, of course, complete and utter tosh.

I know I will find another job, and I know I have support from my all my loved ones, friends and family alike. The very worst case is probably that I have to move to find cheaper accommodation but I will still have the luxury of a roof over my head, and I know that is a very privileged position to be in.

Beyond that, I know that the support of my loved ones is there when I need it, which is something that our little friend anxiety keeps trying to trick me into disbelieving.

This past weekend has helped remind me that, yes, anxiety is both a dick and a liar, that regardless of the things they are dealing with themselves, both my partners will be understanding and supportive when I ask for help and, more than they realise, have helped drive away some of those anxious thoughts that were floating around in my head.

So as well as taking stock of my possession and my lifestyle, I am also taking stock of all of the good things that I have, for they are many, and how rich I really am. It’s a good place to be.