Paddling downstream

      Comments Off on Paddling downstream

This is infuriating.

I’m trying to write a post about how, recently, I’ve been reflecting on my approach to my life and how it’s been slowly changing over the past few years.

But I can’t seem to find a way to start it so I’ll just batter on…

Life is a journey.

(that was gonna be the opening line, what a middle-aged cliche!)

Thing is, that’s what I’m starting to realise more and more, that I have been on a journey without really realising it, I’ve been floating along, carried by the current but whilst I’ve gathered a little speed here and there, it’s only been the last couple of years I’ve started paddling.

Jesus. Listen to me.

I’ll cut to the chase, somewhere in my brain I have started to realise that I am less and less interested in STUFF AND THINGS and more and more focused on EXPERIENCES and PEOPLE.

I don’t buy as much STUFF as I used to.

I am loving being part of Yelp and going out to events, being around PEOPLE and having fun new EXPERIENCES.

I look around my flat and wonder what else I can remove, how did I end up with so much STUFF?

I still need to read this book.

I think I’m approaching the point where I’m ready to play this game.

It means getting things like my debt under control (so I can afford to EXPERIENCE more) and stripping back the THINGS in my life to only those that I need.

It feels a little bit like a cult or religion, and at that point my brain kicks in with the excuses born of years of commercialisation and ‘buying stuff is good’ advertising.

Perhaps my poly lifestyle is helping? Being poly challenges societal and cultural norms, it still catches me out sometimes (still feel a little bit of guilt when I ponder, maybe, if a casual partner is possible) but it has definitely opened my eyes to challenge other things about myself.

I’ve mentioned all of this before, removing negativity and noise, decluttering and simplifying where I can.

It’s just that now I’m starting to fully appreciate the fact that I’m on a journey and I think I know where it might be heading.

Hang on, there is a fork in the river coming up… hmmmm, left or right?