This seems to be the number that is driving a lot of my thoughts at the moment.
Kilograms to be precise.
I’ve been a little bit lighter (and a lot heavier in the past) but for the past few months I’ve maintained my weight around the 100kg mark.
This needs to change, more exercise, healthier eating, I know what to do.
The ‘doing it’ part evades me at present though but there are signs that is changing, that my mindset is shifting and that I’m slowly gaining the resolve to push myself. I’m challenging what I eat more than I have in the past few months and I’m finding ways to get a little bit more exercise into my day.
For now I’m really just aiming to be more active, but once the weather improves I’ll step it up, get the bike out and I’m contemplating a couch to 5K program (gammy knee withstanding) to get me back into running.
There are some incentives. We have two weddings to attend soon, and I have a nice suit which will fit nicer if I can drop a some weight the next time, and I visit the doctor I want to be closer to the 90kg mark (or below?) as that’s the target for them to lower my blood pressure medication. That check up is likely to be early June so plenty of time!
Motivation is the main struggle at the moment, with my new role at work taking a lot of my time and energy, but I’m starting to get to grips with it, and the balance is starting to appear so that should ease up a little in the coming weeks.
One thing that I am noticing as I process all of this to try and figure out how to get some motivation back is that I’m learning not to be so hard on myself, not to let my own expectations weigh me down (especially when I don’t meet them).
A few weeks ago I had a bit of a ‘moment’ when I realised just how hard I was treating myself in that respect, since then, and with the help of my wonderfully supportive (and currently kicking ass in all sorts of ways) girlfriend I think I’m getting a better perspective on ‘me’.
Seems odd to still be discovering myself as I approach my 40th birthday.
And yes I’m certain that that approaching landmark, no matter how much I try and play it down, is making me pause and reconsider a variety of aspects of my life, and my approach to how I live.
Is this my mid-life crisis? Who knows. I’m just happy to be where I am right now. In a good place, in a great relationship, and very very happy.
Now if I could just get my average weight for this month to be below 100kg I’ll be ecstatic!