Kid for a day

Reading time: 2 mins

Cue dream sequence.

wibblywobbly ~ wibblywobbly ~ wibblywobbly

When I am grand poobah, leader of all and ruler of the land, my first act will be to create a new law which will read: “You, my loyal and humble subject, are entitled to choose one day of the calendar year during which you will be free from the constraints of adulthood and allowed to act and think like a child.”

Actually, that’s not strictly true.

My FIRST act as grand poobah, leader of all and ruler of the land will probably be to order a bigger robe and crown, then do a little jig in celebration of my, somewhat unexpectedly, acquired position.

After I’ve calmed down, beheaded a few oiks in Burberry justbecauseIcan and had a good hearty meal, for one should never make rash decisions on an empty stomach (just ask Alfred von Schlieffen who’s SECOND plan was “have dinner”), I will then proceed to lay down the law. Don’t worry though, I will be a benevolent ruler. Unless I don’t like the cut of your jib of course, whereby an entirely different law will be invoked and you shall be cast out along with the Spice Girls (except Baby) and made to watch endless repeats of Saturday night family TV.

My law will free adults of their responsbilities for a day, remove the persistent nagging in their head and allow them to revert to childhood. Throw tantrums and food, stomp in puddles, lie about in a field staring at the clouds, or create elaborate structures from nothing but dirt and twigs. My subjects would worship me, and I’d get to have one day eating nothing but marshmallows.

wibblywobbly ~ wibblywobbly ~ wibblywobbly

This idea, the law, not my sudden ascension to becoming grand poobah, leader of etc etc (although, why not?) came to me the other morning as we were driving into work through the sleet and snow. The weather had changed suddenly and as soon as the first flakes appeared I immediately started thinking about the driving conditions and that I’d maybe have to scrap the ice off the car later on and how the journey home could, if it kept snowing, be a royal pain in the arse, and so on and on…

The thing is, I can still (just) remember a time when all it took was a single snowflake to flutter down from the sky to illicit a single thought, in a distinctly pavlovian manner, from my brain. SLEDGE!

I miss those days. I want them back. Hence the “when I am grand poobah… new law… etc etc”.

Who’s with me?

Come on, let’s start a revolution. Don’t you miss quaffing entire Sherbert Fountains in one go? Playing catch with a tennis ball for hours on end? Spending entire afternoons exploring the local burn?

4 comments

  1. Hey I have a sherbet fountain at least once a week – can’t help it, they are between the butter and the bread in Morrison’s, not to mention some ‘sweetie cigarettes’ or as today’s PC afficionados would have it ‘candy sticks’

  2. Once when we were about your age we sledged down our street after being at a dinner dance(do they still exist?) now we would be worring about hip replacements. I got some liquorice sticks filled with sherbert from Santa. I ate them until I felt sick.

  3. I still do those sort of things, nothing to stop you except embarrassment.

    When I am not riding my bike with my moustache that is.

  4. What, you mean you *don’t* behave like that as a matter of course? I think I must have missed the memo about adult responsibilities being compulsory…

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