Hard times

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Blogging is not life and my life is not centred around blogging. There are a lot of things that go on that I have never and will never mention on here, but I have to mark today in some way.

One year on and I can still remember the phone call, the panic to try and get flights to Spain, and then the shock when we realised it was too late, she was gone.

I remember more silly details about that day than I care to, but I’m equally happy that I do remember.

I’m not sure I have the words for this.

As I sit here at the computer, and try and compose something meaningful, tears are filling my eyes.

This past week or so has been hard, probably the hardest since Grace passed away, and tomorrow will mark the end of the first year since she left us, since she died.

She is missed, more than I can express and I miss her more than I realise.

Louise is holding on, coping. She’s thoroughly sick of people telling her “it’ll get better” as it’s a lie (see update below). A nicety designed to ease the guilt of the person offering such a paltry and inadequate platitude.

Posting will be light for a few days, I don’t have the energy for this at the moment. Be back next week.

Update: And so, today, things are a little better. The anticipation has outweighed the moment.

Thanks for the comments and emails so far, and yes, I know it’s not a lie, and that it is meant with the best will in the world. I’ll steal from a comment to say that yes I do know that we shouldn’t “… be too hard on the givers of inadequate platitudes. They want to help, but just don’t know what to say.”

And maybe that’s the case with us as well. We don’t know what to say back to them. Somehow “Thanks” doesn’t really cut it. Funny old world this.