Best Spam Ever?

Reading time: 4 mins

OK, this is a little long but for once it’s not complete jibberish or a request for money, nor will my penis grow larger and I won’t become rich overnight. No no, this spam is about vampires.

Yes. Vampires.

Apparently there is a group (collective term anyone?) of vampires hanging around in Tottenham. Google suggests that no-one has reported this type of spam (in combination at least) before. How bizarre.

Entire email is pasted below with the errors as received.

Dear Sir / Madam,

I am writing to you about a gang of satanic practicioners in your midst that have been exposed enough, by the social changes that have been occurring in the world economy and national society genetic science, for me to complain. This gang is international, a multi cultural group of people who make contact with their victims such as me through the welfare services
and the public services that the government set up for the people in society. Places like the education system. They have a loyalty to darkness, kings and princes( typical vampire culture in the films) but are always hanging around the welfare system which they are poliically opposed to (plenty of undereducated poor people – typical vampire and mass murderer feeding ground). I am certain they are the snuff movie culture in britain.


I have been running from them ever since the british education system in London set me up to be become one of there victims. I went to a school which they taught at and were being educated at. They first contacted me when I was five and after the damage done again when I was twelve and after the damge done again since then I have watched my my life and chances go from me to them.

This gang is a vampire gang who practice sucking life from living people. To them your life is just energy ( as in energy, matter and light) which they can suck from you while you are close to them. They require some assistance though. They have to be free to stalk people. This means nobody would believe they exist just as you are trying not to do right now. The victim has to be a stationary target, that they have regular access to. Like a student that has to go to their school every day. Or a person who has to attend a welfare office where they work on a regular basis. Or a person who lives next door to them and they can shadow regularly.

The description of the gang is just as described in the modern vampire films, black , white, any race, color, nationality or creed. In fact this is there signature. They are united by a creed of anarchy appearing as though they are artists or creatively dressed. The exact group of people who are attacking me are from the white british community and the west indies. The history there is slavery so that is I assume there identity. The survivors from an enforced slave experience or maybe it was not slavery but it was a vampire recruitment center.

Today in the 21st century they are operating in your government and council welfare services appearing to be helping with the welfare services while taking there pick of innocent people to harass and claim the life of. I am disappointed that with all the science you have, orgainisations, believe that the people employed are alright just because they tell your recruitment officer what you want to hear. The reason why you believe you are safe in there presence is because they are telling you the problem is somewhere else. Do not be so naïve. Looking in from the out side I see your class as their end game target and you cannot even see me as the victim of their everyday abuse. You describe people like me as the weak social deprived and excluded. Well I can tell you that the problem of social weakness is not just social system it is mainly to do with an entity that exists in certain races of people particularly the group I describe and drains life from those you call the 22% poor.

What I would like you to know now is that the Tottenham job center is being used by them to attack the poor people of the Tottenham area. The new deal officer has called me to a trap in there office on two occasions. The gang are for some reason revealing them selves to me in the benefits office as the staff there. They feel confident. There aim is to frighten me, weaken my
resistance, defeat me and make their sucking on me much easier for them if I just give up resistance.

Why the Tottenham job center? Because the Tottenham job center is right on the vampire path. The path runs form lynemouth road, stoke Newington n16 to Tottenham football stadium n17. The stadiums roaring sound pulsing every two weeks when Tottenham play at home acts as an amplifier of their sucking ability, a bit like a mobile phone mast (also an ancient arena of bloodbath every week). These are the vampire facts of the people you employ to dispense welfare services to poor people. And it is we the poor who have to suffer in silence. I know this because I was sucked when I was at brutally nursery school. Against my will I have never been able to leave this country and have been drawn constantly to the Tottenham area where I have encountered a gang posing as local lads who just got lucky. No chance – the whole encounter with this gang is a vampire setup.

They are, after having done this, now exposing themselves to me and I am trying to pass this on to you for mass media exposure.

I can only tell you that in my experience most of the people pointed out as bad are pointed out first by satanic peole then the public moral panic and folk devil story takes over and the satanic people move into the background and take cover.

This one is just for the record

Yoursfaithfully

What the feck was all that about!