B.P.M.

How to raise your heart rate Whilst clearing out the garage, including brushing out the corners and ridding the place of cobwebs and numerous spiders, spot a sheet of wood that was once part of what is now your fireplace, grab it from the stack, and spin round, holding it up for your wife to see whilst asking her “can you guess where this came from?”. When she spots the VERY LARGE SPIDER* on the far side of the wood, the side you’ve just thrust at her in your glee at finding this reminder of your handiwork, she’ll scream. Loudly. This will prompt you to jump, dropping the piece of wood to the floor, and your heart rate will soar. …

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Happy Anniversary

35 years ago my parents stood before friends and family and said “I do”. 35 years on and if you ask either one if they still love each other, they’ll say the same thing. Now, apparently: traditional 35th wedding anniversary gifts have a theme of Coral, whereas a contemporary or modern 35th anniversary gift has a theme of Jade. This Wedding Anniversary does not have any Flowers or Gemstones associated with it. via anniversary.co.uk So, the reason it’s been so quiet here is because I’ve had to nip off to the Great Barrier Reef in Australia to get some coral… Still, it’s a thought ain’t it. 35 years. I only lasted 20 or so at my parents house, not sure …

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Extras

Two episodes in and I’m just not convinced. Not sure whether it’s the addition of “stars”, the acting style of Ricky Gervais (although I think calling it acting is stretching things a bit), or some other factor but whilst there are some very funny moments it doesn’t feel complete. Of course that may be by choice, mirroring the bit parts the characters have, but I’m not sure it helps.

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Waiting

Like Lyle, I’m working at home, waiting for the presence of a Transco van to make itself known. Yes, the gasman is coming. I’m not holding my breath, which is just as well as it’s now 1.30pm and he’s yet to appear. Of course the coming of the gasman means one thing, yes that’s right, my brain gets stuck on an endless loop of the “Gasman” sketch in Bottom. (loudly) “Hello Mr. Gasman!” (Richie) “Er, yes, hello again. I wonder if I could just read your me–” (Gasman) “Mr. who?” (Eddie) (shouting) “GASMAN! GASMAN! GASMAN!” (R) “Do you have someone who looks after you? Could I see them, because I need to read your meter!” — Gasman It’s just me …

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Impact

There is a call centre near my office and every evening as I walk to the train station I partake in the “I’ll go left” waltz with many of the people heading to the call centre for the back shift. Last night, however, was a little bit different. As I turned the corner at the top of the road I spotted a young Asian lady walking towards me. She had a lovely embroidered purple headscarf on, which I glanced at as I walked past. In one of those split second things, she looked at me at the exactly same instance, it was then I released that I’d been looking at her for the last few seconds. I wonder what she …

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Grayscale this

One for the Lazyweb methinks. Is there an EASY (non-coder) way to make all images that appear in a DIV, grayscale? PHP is the preferred langauge and you can presume access to the GD Library is available on the server. Note: I’m aware that IE users can utilise CSS for this but that’s not what I’m looking for so please don’t suggest it.

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Ethical Animal

I’ve visited a few zoos and safari parks in my time and if I’m honest I’ve thoroughly enjoyed most of them. However there is always a pang of guilt associated with these trips, so why do I still do it? Personally, as I’ve come to learn more about some of the animals kept in zoos and better understand how they live their life in the wild, my repulsion at the containment of these magnificent beasts grows. The old Glasgow Zoo was awful, with the tigers cage being far far too small for an animal that likes to roam and walks miles each day, and don’t even start me on the polar bear enclosure. Yet despite all that I gladly took …

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War of the Worlds

Movie info from IMDB Movie reviews from Metacritic SPIELBERG, CRUISE, EPIC MOVIE, INCLUDING MORGAN FREEMAN NARRATING (doesn’t get much more epic than that these days… whatever happened to James Earl Jones?). Yes, the self-proclaimed “blockbuster of the year” has finally been viewed and it was bloody good. Well it could have been utterly amazing, but Tom Cruise – and this is something my wife was the first to say, and she’s a HUGE Cruise fan – just can’t cut the mustard. He’s fine at wide sweeping and overly dramatic acting but give him something challenging, something that concentrates a lot of the camera time on him and more importantly, on him whilst he’s acting scared and needs to show emotion, …

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Podcasting

Ohh it’s the new blogging, is it? Could be, everyone’s at it, and it’s guaranteed to be “mainstream” now that iTunes support it but, and please don’t think of me as some neolithic oaf but what IS all the fuss about? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking those who are doing podcasts, I’ve heard some very good ones recently and as an extension of a blog they give an extra dimension to the personality behind the microphone of a type you only normally get when you meet some in person (real life, remember that? fresh air, no keyboard and REAL people, what a concept! It’ll never catch on that one…). However let’s get this straight. A podcast (blogcast, whatever) …

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Snippets

Spotted in one of the tabloid Sunday papers. A caption underneath this picture that stated, “Jessica Alba, second from right…” You don’t say… ~ Vague memory of a need for a web app that I thought up on holiday, something to do with accessing something via a mobile phone. Can’t for the life of me remember what it was though. Thinking cap on. ~ I’ve been writing up some book reviews (didn’t read much on holiday as it turned out) and I’m wondering if the availability of thousands of reviews and comments on a book – via Amazon, forums, and blogs – means that there are fewer bad books being bought and sold. I can’t think of a book that …

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