The Gentleman Stalker

Reading time: 1 min

Ladies, a question.

You are walking alone at night, you are on a fairly quiet street, it’s well lit, and cars go by every minute. A man is walking about 20 feet behind you, and has been since you turned down the corner into this street.

Now, if I’m that man (I’m not saying I’m a stalker, although I could be, in fact I could be stalking you RIGHT NOW. DON’T LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW!!) Ahem… where was I? Oh yess.. so I’m that man, walking to meet my wife, and I realise that you may think I’m following you. There is something about the way you keep looking over your shoulder whilst pretending to be glancing at the house and shops we are walking past (which isn’t fooling anyone, by the way) which gives me that impression.

What should I do, make sure I stay in sight, drop back a little more (even though I’m running late and the wife will kill me) or move out of sight behind you, making it so you have to stop and turn around to see if I’m still there?

Or should I just start running towards you then sprint past whilst you have a minor heart attack…??

To the lady I ran past this evening, I’m truly sorry. I wasn’t really paying that much attention, and it was only afterwards that it struck me how my actions could’ve been taken. Please be assured that the reason I started running was because I glanced at my watch, realised I was going to be late, and next thing I know I’m whirling past you.

And yes, that little scream you let it WAS audible even though I had my headphones on.

Sorry.