Smoking is cool*

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Today the Scottish Parliament decides on whether to introduce a smoking ban and what level that ban will be. Me? I’m hoping that it’ll outlaw the damn things altogether. Ohh and anyone who thinks this is a democratic decision is sadly mistaken. The real reason behind this decision won’t be health, and it won’t be money.

No, despite all the statistics being bandied around – the Tobacco Manufacturer’s Association have stated that the people of Scotland don’t want a ban but a choice of environments (but of course they would say that), and of course the British Medical Association’s Scottish secretary points out that there has been a choice of environment and it has failed (and of course he would say that) – and despite the belief that the money raised through tax on cigarettes would be the swaying factor, I can reveal the guiding principle behind this legislation**.

Cool kids. You know, the ones who hung about behind the bike sheds in a fug of cheap ‘fag’ smoke. The ones who swore at teachers, the ones who scared you so much you crossed the road rather than walk past them, the ones who didn’t even bother to fight or bully because everyone JUST KNEW they were harder than anyone. Sure, they may have stunted their growth, left school as soon as they could with no qualifications and they’ll all be dead by the time they’re 40 but the point is this. The people in power are the people like me. The envious, the uncool, and the bullied. Now we are fighting back.

UPDATE: A ban it is, details still coming through.

* It’s not really kids, I was trying to be ironic… well sarcastic at least
** Or I could be making this up, but the more I think about it, the more it seems to fit