bookmark_borderPursuit of pleasure

Partially nicked from yesterday’s Independent.

According to Michael Flocker’s The Hedonism Handbook there are 10 signs you’re in too deep:

  1. You no longer remember anyone’s phone number because they’re all in your mobile
  2. You e-mail people who are seated within 20ft of you
  3. You make itineraries for your holidays
  4. The idea of a full week without internet access fills you with terror
  5. You are bored if the television isn’t on
  6. You have to watch the news every day, just to be sure the world isn’t ending
  7. You regularly watch sitcoms that you have seen countless times before
  8. You are unable to sit still and think in silence
  9. Your conversation regularly revolves around the lives of others instead of your own
  10. You buy your shoes because they match your iPod

I have to take issue with some of these.

Personally a full week without internet access is a relief sometimes, but doesn’t fill me with terror (#4). I am usually bored when the television is ON and get up to do something else (#5) (and how does this sit with #7?). I watch the news so I know what is going on in the world, not so I know the world is going on (#6), and what is with #10? Does ANYONE do that?

Now he also has some advice, namely 10 ways to unleash your inner hedonist:

  1. Find a park bench, sit down and observe life
  2. Lie in a hammock and stare at the stars
  3. Bob in the ocean
  4. Go for a walk without direction
  5. Read a book in complete silence
  6. Take a nap in the sun
  7. Take a bath by candlelight
  8. Sleep until you can sleep no more
  9. Extend foreplay
  10. Watch Swedish cinema

Now, I agree with some of these but still have to take issue. “Watch Swedish cinema” WHY?

Personally I’m happy curled up with a good book and no interruptions, but a streetside cafe and a good coffee is also favoured source of relaxation. People watching is always fascinating.

What methods do you employ when you are having a little “ME” time?

bookmark_borderStuck

Don’t you just love days like this? Spending hours in long meetings, trying to find a way to get more work done in few hours. How about shorter meetings!

I’m also a bit stuck by the death of John Peel. I feel bad, and I know he influenced a lot of people but I have been a tad surprised at the outpourings.

Similarly I find myself stuck until November the 5th. The date is moving closer, and the final plans for the wedding are taking place – tonight Louise gets her bridesmaid dress altered – and until it’s passed we are having a hard time planning for Christmas, our holiday in January (FECK I’VE STILL NOT GOT MY PASSPORT PHOTO TAKEN!!), and a couple of birthdays inbetween times.

But then that’s nothing new, I always feel this way as we head towards winter, the darker mornings and evenings heralding a change in attitude. Now I’m a lazy bugger by nature but long winter nights are made for one thing only – curling up somewhere warm and burning out my retinas watching TV, DVDs, or playing the PlayStation.

How do you approach winter? Hibernate or … er… fornicate??

bookmark_borderBuzz off

Looks like the American spelling bee is heading to the UK in the form (somewhat) of the BBC’s new show Hard Spell: “Britain’s best young speller step forward because SPELLING JUST GOT COMPELLING.” (emphasis mine). Good grief.

To be hosted by Eamonn Holmes, the executive producer said “This will be like Pop Idol, but with spelling. We want it to be fashionable to spell well.”

Fashionable? Is that what we are reducing basic education to? FASHION?!

I WAS going to rant about this. With teachers for parents I guess it strikes a nerve, and I could easily rattle off an essay length post about declining standards foisted by pencil pushing government officials, and how I think a return to stricter schooling is for the benefit of society… and so on.

But I won’t. It’s too early in the day and it wouldn’t allow me to post this lovely quote taken from this article about the upcoming show:

Last year, Michelle Plummer, a mother of three from Merthyr Tydfil, had David Beckham’s name tattooed in inch-and-a-half letters on her back. When she got home, she found it read BECKAM. “I went berserk,” she said. “I feel I’ve been scarred for life.”

Poetic justice?

bookmark_borderPredictive

It’s a wonder we can communicate at all these days. The propensity to just send an email, or a txt msg (sic) is killing the art of conversation.

You could take my wife’s approach though. She likes to send txt msgs that are every so slightly misleading, forcing the other person to phone her up and ask “What ARE you on about?”

Take this evening’s txt msg for example. For part of a friends wedding present we were going to get them one of those nice engraved slate nameplates. However, Louise sent the following txt msg:

“We were thinking on getting you slave slave* for house as want you to have keepsake…”

Needless to say the bride was slightly perplexed but did let us know that they would like one each, male and female, and could they help choose?

* Slave slave = slate plate. Allegedly.
Posted in UncategorizedTagged

bookmark_borderFor me?

One advantage of the woeful delivery service that is Amazon, is that my birthday presents are still trickling in.. this evening I arrived home to some pressies from my sister-in-law and her kids:

They’ll get added to the stack of books next to my bed which, if it were ever to fall over in the middle of the night, would probably crush me, Louise and smash it’s way through to the neighbours bedroom as well. I really should go in and apologise in advance.

“I’m sorry I’m a bit tardy with my reading…”

Posted in UncategorizedTagged

bookmark_borderNot this but that

I had thought of 23 different things to post here by 8.30am this morning. I’ve forgotten each one. Instead I’ll give you a transcript (a small snippet) of a discussion I’ve just had on IM (the names have been changed to protect the innocent – I’ve ALWAYS wanted to say that… hmmmm what ever happened to M.A.R.R.S.??):

Donalda Bint: Am learning to drive, learning the drums and am trying to treach myself turkish
Gordon: tell me, how do you play the drums AND steer at the same time?
turkish drum driving is a sought after skill
LOL
so why Turkish?
whim is a terrible thing
blown by the winds of whim
in the direction of turkey
whim. not only a great word but something everyone should give into from time to time
it is a fine word – especially with a scottish accent, because we pronounce it “whim” whereas here in england they pronounce it “wim”. And that is more German film maker than innermost arbitariness
ahhh but “wim” is apt though, given mr.wenders propensities to the more fanciful artefacts of life
(I wish I knew what I meant there)
true, but I bet he pronounces it “whim”
lol
the “wh” gives in a whimsical and “will o’ the wisp” like feeling
very rare linguistic sound the “wh” apparently
really?
doing any whimming yourself?
see when you say it like that it just sounds dirty
yeah, got told that by a linguistic tutor – because it is basically breathing more than sound
heh heh heh
yes, but wimming sounds worse
depends on your accent…. u wimmin are always up to something…
turkish drum driving for example

We go on to discuss vowel karma and the Scottish approach to it (any one will do), and using colours as a filing system for people (including “drab”, “bowfin’ peach” and “dreary orange”).

Life? Who needs one of those?