bookmark_borderFacts of life

In lieu of ‘real’ content I give you one of those forwarded emails which you’ve no doubt seen at some point:

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You’ve never quite sure whether it’s ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator.
6) Reading when you’re drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your
teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong !
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got
your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had
their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on
an upturned plug.
31) People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard
32) You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of
wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip

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bookmark_borderDiva-ing

This week, as I mentioned, I’ll be guest posting at Troubled Diva.

So, if you don’t find me here, I’ll be over there.

In related news: I’m actually very nervous about this. The quality of writing over there has been top notch, what they will make if little old me heaven knows!

bookmark_borderTypical

Did you see it? Concorde yesterday?

If you did, can you let me know? Despite sitting down in front of the telly, balancing the laptop precariously on my knees, and being tuned to the BBC. I missed it!!!

I have a bit of tendency to get caught up in what I’m doing (at that time, calculating how many change requests we’ve had per project release) and completely blot out everything else.

It’s fine at home, unless I’m wanting to watch Concorde’s last ever arrival of course, but is a bit of a problem at work. Maybe I need a ‘Do not disturb’ hat like one of the developers had at my last place. He didn’t wear it often but you knew not to go near him or he’d likely chew your arm off and beat you to death with the soggy end.

So I missed a historical occasion. Oops.

In other news, Jez is back so I won’t be ‘guesting’ there any more. I’ve packed my bags, said adieu to Chateau Jez, hopped on a taxi and headed for Diva Towers where I will be making the occasional appearance in the coming week.

I’ve an idea what I’ll be posting about over at Mike’s but not 100% sure if I’ll go with my original idea, or my backup plan … although considering I don’t yet have a backup plan I might be a bit stuck… hmmmm

bookmark_borderHospital Radio

(I’ve been meaning to jot down some ‘history’ so here is the first in an occasional series, occasional as in ‘when-I-remember’)

When I was sixteen, it was a very good year…

I joined the Boys Brigade in primary school. When I asked why I was greeted with the kind of biblical testament kids soon learn to avoid:
“Why? For once, many mooneth ago, your father’s father was the captain of a great clan of brigaders, he serveth his time, and begat your father. And lo, your father too was press-ganged welcomed into the brigade. He, and his father before him, suffered greatly for the freedom you have today, the freedom to choose to join such a venerable organisation.”

In other words I was told I was joining.

Looking back, once again, my parents were right. It was a wonderful experience, and without it I wouldn’t have some very close friends, including the best man at my wedding. But I’m leaping forward.

I made my way through the years at 1st Dumbarton Boys Brigade, from the Juniors to the Company section, and ended up a Sergeant squad leader. My squad won both trophies that year and I picked up a ‘Best Boy’ trophy that year as well. However the main achievement that year was gaining my Queen’s badge.

The Queen’s badge is the ultimate honour in the Boys Brigade and is hard work. There are several sections of work to be undertaken to prove your worth, including a community service aspect. It just so happened that a friend at school (a member of 2nd Dumbarton *spit*) was also doing his Queen’s badge, and mentioned that he was hoping to join the local hospital radio station. Being musically inclined I thought that was a great idea, and within a couple of weeks I was nervously walking down a hospital corridor to the remote rooms that make up Hospital Radio Lennox.

I can still remember my first night there, helping out with the request show. I’d been to the station for a quick orientation the previous week finding out how it worked, and listening in to the request show. The request show is the core part of hospital radio, visiting the patients, chatting to them, and getting them to listen in when we play a record of their choice. This is the part of hospital radio that is sometimes forgotten, but does make a difference. I lost count of the number of times I heard people say that I was the only visitor they’d had that day.

I digress. Once you been round the wards, it’s back to the studio to look out the records (vinyl!) and prepare for the show. My first ‘proper’ night there I was invited into the studio, and plonked in front of a microphone. Someone assured me I wouldn’t be speaking as there would be training before I was allowed on-air, but they must’ve been pulling my leg for next thing I know:

“Good evening, it’s 9 o’clock and time for the Request Show. My name is Andrew Scott Rankin and joining me tonight are Judith and Gordon…”

Cue draining of blood from face, panic stricken look across at Andrew, and him sitting there grinning like a cheshire cat giving me the thumbs up…

“If you didn’t spot our ward visitors tonight, don’t worry you can always phone us here at the studio, the number is coming up after the first request.”

And with that, he points at me, points at the mic (I already had the headphones on) and stops talking.

“…”
“This.. er.. request is for… Agnes in Ward 14… she’s asked for Chris de Burgh, Lady in Red.”

And that’s how it all started.