Solution found: walk into shop, spot a fake poo under the countertop, point and say “I’ll take one of the round ones”. Yes I’m wondering why I phrased it that way too.
Aside: If you are ever in Glasgow city centre, take 5 mins to visit Tam Shepherds Joke shop on Queen Street. It sells masks, joke equipment and magic equipment (if you can’t find it, just ask someone, if they come from the West of Scotland they will probably know of it). We bought our nephew some tricks there a while back and wandering in, unsure of what to get him, were delighted when Mr.Shepherd (we presume) happily spent 30 minutes chatting to us and showing us all manner of tricks, performing them right in front of us with great ease. There is nothing like a bit of magic to make your day.
He was at it again when I was in today. Five red foam balls disappearing and reappearing in front of my very eyes (well actually the eyes of the customer he was serving). So coupled with doughnuts this morning I’m in a very jolly mood indeed, and… wait… yes.. the sun has just peeked out from behind the clouds. A sure sign that I should pack up and take the afternoon off. If only… *sigh*