Ambrose Bierce

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The Devil’s Dictionary offers “The most irreverent and sardonic definitions of common terms this side of the inferno.”

Favourite entries (so far):
OMEN, n. A sign that something will happen if nothing happens.
VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
ACADEME, n. An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.
ACADEMY, n. [from ACADEME] A modern school where football is taught.
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
NONSENSE, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.