Did I say I found a snake in our back garden? (There are only three native species in the UK, the grass snake, smooth snake and the adder)
It was when we were clearing out the side of the garage, the previous owners, or the owners before that, had left a lot of branches and twigs from a tree lying there, they were pretty rotted and full of insects so I was tasked with moving it (lest my beloved wife get within 6 feet of anything with 6 feet).
I’d lifted a large armful of branches from the top of the pile and was just bending down to pick up some more, when I spotted it. I’d obviously woken it up as it was in mid-slither. A snake in our garden.
I jumped slightly.
OK, I jumped about 10 feet with an accompanying yell. I composed myself as Louise rushed over, told her not to worry but there was a small snake in the garden, all of 7″ long or so, and that none of the snakes native to the UK were poisonous, no need to panic. If we acted sensibly we could probably coax the snake into a box, and release it in the fields near our house. I picked up the rake that was lying next to where I had landed, got a box from the garage, I was prepared.
I moved forward cautiously and could still see the snake sitting exactly where I’d seen it. It hadn’t moved at all.
It was a plastic toy snake.
I think Louise is still laughing…