Month: February 2002

BAD bad

And finally… Good news and bad news.

My sister is happy. This is good news.

The bad news; A friend of mine recently had some distressing news concerning a car getting broken into, the guy who did it cutting himself and bleeding all over the interior over the car. My friend then drove the car home only to receive a call from the police helpfully informing her that, as the man himself stated when he was arrested minutes after breaking into her car (thanks to a chance police van that happened to be passing), the blood did have traces of HIV+ and Necrotizing Fasciitis (also known as Flesh-Eating Disease). I have struggled to find the right words for both here and when I speak directly to my friend. I’m not sure I will find them. My thoughts and prayers are with you K, as are many others, it will be alright.

Journoblogs

Blogger Manifesto “blogging is the first journalistic model that actually harnesses rather than merely exploits the true democratic nature of the web”.

There has been a LOT written, about this activity of blogging, recently. Why people do it, where it is headed etc etc. I’ve read most of the major ones and, to be honest I can agree with them all. However I fear that the collective voice the bloggers represent is unlikely to become a reliable source of journalism or radically change the way news and information is handled. YES there has been an explosion recently, but I think it is more tied to the lack of direction the Internet has suddenly developed (no more vortals.. eh what’s next?). I’m still not 100% sure why I do this, although I’m pretty sure it’s more for me than you (sorry).

In case you missed them:
NY Times: Is Weblog Technology Here to Stay or Just Another Fad?
National Post: ‘Bloggers’ emerge from internet underground
Wired: Blah, Blah, Blah and Blog
MIT Technology Review: Blog This
A List Apart: How to write a better weblog
Adam Curry: Blogging: Tune Out and Switch On
PC Mag: The Blog Phenomenon

Tight Fit

Heading to Greens Gym tonight to join (especially as the joining fee is currently being waived). I get a discounted rate through my company (which is very nice of them). Looks like I’ll soon be torturing myself on various impliments referred to as, I believe, exercise machines. Ohhh the joys…

Bit of late night shopping first, after a beer or two. Busy night ahead.

Positive

I have come to accept that, by nature, I am pessimistic. I’m definitely a “glass half full” kinda guy. This does tend to make me more cautious and careful about a lot of things, as I can see the downside far easier than the up. Obviously in some places this is a benefit, but increasingly I am becoming frustrated with my own pessimism.

I’m pretty sure, although it’s not the kind of thing you ask people nor the kind of thing people will volunteer, that I’m viewed as selfish (which is true) and usually on a bit of downer (or constantly negative) and I wouldn’t imagine I’m cultivating the image of being ‘upbeat’ and ‘positive’.
I want to be positive.

Two questions:
1. Why do I want this?
2. Why do I need this?

I want this because I don’t like this side of my character and want to change it. I’m not drastically upset or anything, it’s more a constant niggle, like a tiny piece of grit in the sole of your shoe – a good metaphor as it is likely they both feel bigger until you examine them and you find a lot of it was imagination and perception. It’s one of those things that, looking back on a situation, you find yourself thinking “Damn I wish I’d said…”. Funny how those situations seem to be ‘major’ ones, either professionally or personally.

I want this because it will benefit me in the long run. It should give me a more balanced character, I think, although it will no doubt highlight another area I am lacking in, such is life.

I need this because I constantly strive to improve myself. It’s just something I do. Find an area of weakness or an area that is lacking and try and improve it.

I am aware that no human being is perfect, and I am aware that there is a place for pessimism. However I believe that pessimism needs a healthy dose of positivity to counter it, and I think the balance is wrong.

Maybe it’s just a temporary thing, affected by other circumstances in my life at the moment. Maybe I need to resign myself to who I am? Is that the way to be happy? Be happy with yourself? Maybe I should look to that as a personal goal?

How do you attain this inner peace, this confidence that, whilst you are aware of your flaws, you are happy to acknowledge them and move on. Am I striving for unobtainable goals? I have acknowledged a large variety of personal flaws here in this website. Once acknowledged, what is the first step? Take, for example, my laziness. I will happily “put off today what can be done tomorrow”. Yet somedays I manage to kick myself into action. I get annoyed about my laziness and start some DIY job, or paperwork, or whatever is outstanding. Very soon I get bored and frustrated that this task is taking up my valuable time – valuable as in, sitting watching telly, surfing the web or some other self motivated activity.

So if I am aware that I am lazy, and if I frequently know that I really should be doing something (and depending on my mood actually getting up and doing it) can I do the same for the pessimistic side of my nature? There is no reason why I can’t. I’ve managed to build in a ‘pause’ in other areas in my life, so I should be able to do the same here. [Stop. Think. Is what I am about to say positive or constructively pessimistic?] Easy really.

So I will try this, and other ways of changing my persona. As usual there are too many ‘maybes’, too many questions outstanding, but another aspect of my nature is to try. You think I’d learn wouldn’t you.

Answers

Questions for the day…

1. What celebrity do you most admire and why?
Difficult to pinpoint, but anyone who receives that amount of attention and remains down-to-earth and genuine, Brad Pitt, Mel Gibson, seem to fit this category.

2. What celebrity do you like best for their fashion?
Jennifer Lopez always looks good, Brad Pitt dresses well. Hell what do you want me to say – I’m a guy!

3. Who is your favorite celebrity couple or what two celebrities do you think should hook up?
If I paid enough attention I might be better placed for an answer – how are Tom Cruise and that Nicole woman doing these days, they seem quite well matched…

4. What celebrity reminds you of yourself? In what way?
Brad Pitt. Good looking, funny, popular… ohhh ok probably someone like John Goodman.

5. Did you watch the Grammys? What did you think?
The what? American are they? 😉 Not screened in the UK (I don’t think) but I’ll check the winners and get back to you.

Internet; Printed

Simple Things.
This morning, someone, a stranger, handed me a copy of the (fabulous) free newspaper Metro. I was waiting to get one anyway, but it was a small gesture, much appreciated and lightened my day.

Linkeroo

Just updating some referrer links (if I link them here I’ll remember to update the Visit page tomorrow)

TeamMonkey
Blogatelle

If you’ve linked to me – let me know and I’ll happily reciprocate (and that’s enough big words for tonight).

Bedtime.

Internet time

Louise was hogging the PC tonight – well ok she was on it for about an hour, but that’s WAY too much. Anyway, she was participating in a Live chat with that ‘nice gardening man off the telly’ Alan Titchmarsh. Her first time in a chat room and she couldn’t believe that she had been on for an hour.

Now she knows why I’ll still be sitting here at midnight! 😉