Courage

Human courage in extreme situations continually astounds. I recently heard about a Vietnam documentary which looked at the story of several American soldiers who were captured by the VietCong. They were locked in separate cells, and no communication was allowed. At one point in the documentary one of the soldiers, sitting calmly in a chair, vividly describes how one day he gave up, and tried to kill himself. With nothing in the room to use, no clothes on his body, he stood and smashed his forehead against the wall until he passed out. He didn’t die. Many people say suicide is the cowards way out, but in this circumstance it was, without doubt, an act of incredible bravery. An act …

Continue reading »

Four

“The hurt of lost, the longing of one, the distance from those, the untouchable.” Four lines. Many meanings. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I wrote those four lines a long time ago, I think I was about 17 or 18, vaguely around one of the times I split up with Louise (which as certain people know, happened now and again). Since then it keeps appearing in my head, for no reason that I can fathom, and each time it seems to take on a different meaning. “The hurt of lost” – doesn’t apply anymore, but when did it? Is the loss perceived or a reality? “the longing of one” – I long for many things, or is dream a better term? …

Continue reading »

Silly

Silly adj : lacking seriousness; given to frivolity; “a dizzy blonde”; “light-headed teenagers”; “silly giggles” [syn: airheaded, dizzy, empty-headed, featherbrained, giddy, light-headed] Love can be defined as silliness. I don’t mean silliness as in daftness (although the border between the two is very blurred), I mean silliness as in the daft (see!) little things we do to amuse the other. Silly voices, silly faces, silly words, just plain silly. Personally I think silliness is massively under-rated. People frown on silly behaviour, and it is generally thought to have a certain time or place. This is true to an extent, but not, in my opinion, the places most people think. I know my attempts at silliness is a ‘defense mechanism’ – …

Continue reading »

Bang II

Another shooting in the U.S. The outrage, the shock, the pain. Swiftly followed by the insight, the analysis, the reason. Apathy? Is that what it is? Or an inherent numbness to the horrors? The same arguments against will be countered with the same arguments for, and in a week or so it will all be forgotten. What will it take? OK, radical idea – why don’t the anti-gun lobbies get together and go around the U.S. and shoot one member of each family in the country. Is that what it would take? I fully admit to suffering from the same “it’ll never happen to me” syndrome, but life here in the U.K. hasn’t yet reached the ‘advanced’ stage that the …

Continue reading »

Change

Many things in life are prone to change, many for better, some for worse, but all for a reason. Change has been a big feature in my life for the last 4 or 5 years. Louise and I have moved to our 7th flat together (in about 5 years), with one more move planned after that. I’ve changed jobs 4 times in 3 years (although two were redundancies), and my whole outlook on life has changed dramatically (if you really need to know). I now crave stability, or at least I think I do. What if it has been the constant flux of life that has kept me going, kept my mind active, my soul alive? I long to settle …

Continue reading »

Bang

The world is shrinking, so my next comments aren’t as misplaced as they seem, is that an excuse? Yet another shooting in America. Yet more calls for tighter controls, or complete bans. More arguments about free speech, and the right to bear arms (bare arms?). “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people“ How stupidly small-minded, frighteningly short-sighted can people be? Is it just me? OK I know it’s not, but don’t these people realise what they are saying? Of course, strictly speaking they are correct, I could have a gun and never use it to kill people – but the counter-argument is so obvious. “It is our right as American citizens“ I will admit to a not complete understanding of …

Continue reading »

Attraction

“You’ll like her, she has amazing eyes” Attraction is not a static, well, not entirely, and it comes in various states: attraction to beauty attraction to personality attraction to lust attraction to like attraction to opposite and many more. Most people single out a few characteristics, for me it’s eyes. There is something bewitching about some people’s eyes, a certain quality that I find difficult to qualify or explain. Of course, there is more to it than that, attraction comes as a package and that package is never definite. Physical attraction, or idolisation, is based wholly on physical attributes. I have never met Helena Christiansen, but she is the most stunning woman I have ever seen. Similarly, Lisa Nicole Carson …

Continue reading »

Love

I wrote this without really thinking about it, she’s allowed me to share it with you. How she makes me feel I don’t have the words to express how much you mean to me, and how much I regret what has happened, maybe the words don’t exist. ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ don’t, and never will, sum up the way I feel, but they are all I have. I’m falling in love again, and noticing many wonderful things that had passed me by. I have said in the past that I am selfish, and it is true, I was so selfish I didn’t look any further than myself, what a fool. Not a day passes when I see something …

Continue reading »

Need

“Why do you need a website?“ OK, how do you answer that? “Well everyone else has one…” “Oh, and if everyone jumped off the Erskine Bridge, you’d follow them?“ “Because it’s cool…” (which it isn’t, so don’t ever use this answer) “You think so? it just means you can’t get a real life“ And so it goes (which is a wonderful Billy Joel song) basically your only available answer is to say – “You just don’t understand it…” But it does get you thinking, why do I need to do this? The answer to that is simple – I don’t need to. I could stop tomorrow, no really I could… So the question is almost back to the original – …

Continue reading »

Sunglasses

Research has proven that wearing sunglasses boosts your ego. No…really, a British study by Dr. Glenn Wilson, a psychologist at the University of London, reports that measurable psychological benefits can be gained from wearing sunglasses. But is it really so? I think Dr.Wilson is looking to deep into the matter and suffering from ‘can’t-see-the-wood-for-all-these-damn-trees’ syndrome. Its simple really…when do people wear sunglasses, when its sunny! and how do you feel when you are sitting in the sun – GREAT!! So you are feeling good, and I bet you feel, measurably, better. Is it just me, or is it really that obvious? The study goes on to reveal that “People wear sunglasses because they feel they look good in them. You …

Continue reading »