Keeping busy

Keeping busy

The last few weeks at work were a bit manic, somewhat stressful, and long. Oh so long. I struggle to switch off at times like these but, as I’ve mentioned before, it does mean that I drop into a mindset that keeps me busy busy busy.

I finished up for the holidays on Friday and I’ve kept that busy busy busy thing going through the weekend and, despite a little lie-in this morning, it seems like it is continuing.

Busy busy busy.

I’m looking forward to Christmas this year as it’s full of new things. My parents new home, no planned Christmas dinner but a buffet, and then a quiet Christmas night with my loved ones. Although that’s another reason for the busy busy busy, getting my flat ready for that.

I think the busy busy busy is helping keep the usual holiday ills at bay. It’s something I’ve been seemingly more susceptible to for a while now so I’ve been wary as this holiday approached. Fingers crossed I’ll get away with nothing more than a wee cold.

Anyway, I can’t sit here, I’ve got things to do! The local recycling centre to visit, last couple of things to buy, and purple food colouring to master!

What? Ohh it’s for the parma violet vodka of course…

One to revisit

It’s a quick cycle when the ills hit. Tiredness reigns, my emotional capacity drops and I do my best to keep as much back for myself and for the people that are important to me, but work drains me more than I like.

Even realising this I dragged into futile discussions and arguments. Maybe next year I’ll learn how to stop that. For now, every day feels like a battle. It’s tiring, more so when I’m under the weather.

The joys of poly are many, the ills of poly are shared. Clare is feeling better, I’m almost there, but Kirsty is a few days behind us. Mark seems to have avoid whatever weird cold/sickness bug we’ve had.

And, of course, it’s that time of year when the nights out merge to a blur, the shopping trips are part running the gauntlet, part endurance event, and the bank balance is a whirlpool drain.

Through it all I’ve been writing. I’ve posted some things here, but most are hidden away from your prying eyes, delivered to be critiqued by others on the course. I’m a week behind (see above for mitigating circumstances) but it’s been enjoyable when I’ve had the time. I’ve learned some new tools and techniques and so, already, my mind wanders to 2015.

I have three things to tackle. I’ve always got these three things to tackle. At some point I need to figure this out but for now I’ll leave them here. My weight. My money. Writing time.

To be revisited.

When I have the time.

(see what I did there?)

Christmas is coming

Poly Means Many: There are many aspects of polyamory. Each month, the PMM bloggers will write about their views on one of them. Links to all posts can be found at

The end of the year is approaching and so once again those of us in non-monogamous relationships start to look at our shared calendars and figure out who will be where and when amid the myriad of additional social engagements that always roll around at this time of year.

Case in point, I now have some form of ‘get together’ every Friday until Christmas, all of which involve food and booze and, therefore, limit my ability to be around on the Saturday morning after them; Dear Santa, I know I’ve not been a good boy but still… can I please have some willpower for next year?

Add in the social commitments of everyone else, both in my relationships and my wider circle of friends, and it starts to get a little challenging to see the people you want, when you want!

All of the planning is worth it though as it removes some of the stress of the unknown and, for us, is made easier by the fact that we are a year further on with our relationships and much more comfortable with the dynamics of our relationships. So from Christmas Eve through to Boxing Day, we already have a sense of who will be where and can figure out the details closer to the time.

That said, just this past weekend we’ve uncovered a couple of glitches in the thinking, back to the planning board!

More excitingly, we are also planning for the four of us to go away over New Year. We tried a Hogmanay street party last year and it turned out not to be the greatest idea ever – who wants to stand in a queue at a bar for AN HOUR! – so this year we are all looking forward to hiding away, stocked up on food and booze, board games and books, for a few days.

I will admit that I’m usually the one keen to get plans in place, but this past year has taught me to be a lot more relaxed about that – for the most part – so I’m totally NOT freaking out that our festive plans are still a little vague, nope, not me.

Beyond the plans there are other more mundane things to consider, presents to buy and gifts to be wrapped.

I mention the latter purely because I screwed up last year. I’m a big fan of ‘little gestures’ and so I was well chuffed with my plan to wrap presents for Kirsty and Clare in their favourite colours, purple and red respectively. One evening I gathered the presents together, popped Elf on the TV (because silly and Zooey) and started wrapping.

It was only when I stepped back to admire my handiwork (I even posted it on Instagram) that I realised I’d wrapped the presents for Clare in purple, and the presents for Kirsty in red… Oh well, can’t win them all!

For me, the festive season is a time to be around friends and family, to remind myself of what is important. It’s a time to reflect on how lucky I am, and how much love I have in my life. The older I get, the less I care about ‘things’ and the more value I place on being happy.

Wherever you are, however many loved ones you have in your life, I wish you all the very best and hope your festive season is a good one.